11~11~12

We've been to church all but two Sundays since Simon has been born.  While I was pregnant with him, I often pictured holding him during worship. I would be holding him close, singing to him as I sang to the Lord.  Well, Simon tends to finish his morning nap during worship.  Often he wakes up just after so I have to miss the sermon to nurse him.  By the time I make it back in for reflection, he is usually back to sleep.

 

Today he stayed awake for reflection.  The song they played was, "Your Great Name"

 

I held my baby, he looked into my eyes, and I sang with all my heart.  The lyrics mixed with my joy and the tears flowed.  They really flowed.  As I sang the words, so many of them rang true through the past two and a half years.

 

"Every fear; has no place; at the sound of your great name
The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of your great name"

I can't count how many times I feared for Simon.  I would pray for him, and recite 2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
And the fear would would slowly ease it's grip on me. 

 

I could go on and on about most the lines of this song, but the above just rush through me every time I sing them.  To finally have my baby boy in my arms and be able to sing them while looking into his beautiful blue eyes, well, there are no words.

 

I love that I am able to sit here, after all I have been through, be able to type, and fully believe that God is good!  He does answer prayers, and He is worthy of all praise.


 

 

 

 

Who's Who? A Give-a-way

At 6 weeks old, we have taken pictures of all the boys in the same onesie.  Can you guess who is who?

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love to see the similarities between my boys.  And I love to see how different each of them fill out the onesie.

 

Heck, let's make this a contest.  Everyone who gets it right will be entered into a drawing for a Christmas ornament.   I will choose you ornament special for you.  I will randomly (use a program) choose a number on 11/18/12.

Washer Washes Out

Many of you know from Facebook that we had a small disaster in our house two weeks ago.  Our washing machine, which is on the second floor, froze in the rinse cycle and poured water for two hours.  The result is the pictures below. 

 

The view from the playroom.  This was taken after the water quit dripping.  It rained for an extra 30 minutes after I turned the water off.

 

The gaping hole of the first piece that fell.

 

You can see how wet the carpet was.  It was floating over the carpet pad.

 

When I came home from a walk at the park with a friend, I heard water running.  It sounded like the shower, so I peeked into the bathroom and saw our dining room ceiling on the floor!  I can't describe the millions of thoughts that flew through my head.  I called Willy so he could tell me how to get to the shut-off valve.  After shutting off the water, I then made my way through the pouring water and had to dig out Snicker from his crate.  His crate sits behind the bathroom door, about where the cooler below is.  The poor dog is okay.  I then waiting for Willy to get home.

 

Willy came home and got straight to work cleaning things up.  He is such a rockstar!  He worked hard.



 
 We moved the furniture into the playroom in case more ceiling fell.  We decided to take a break and grab some lunch while we waited for the insurance company to call us back.  Dru had made it over to help with Simon while we cleaned.

 

We heard a crash while taking a lunch break.  Poor Willy.

 

That night I woke to use the bathroom and this is what the bathroom ceiling looked like.  I lost it.  I wasn't even safe to use my bathroom in my home.

 

By 10:00pm the next night, the bathroom ceiling fell.

 

And Willy went back to work.

 

This is our backyard the next day.  How embarrassing.

 

And here is a picture of them drying the floors.  They ripped out the carpet pad and spend three days drying the floors. They also were able to dry our walls.

 
We have been back in our house for a week now.  And we are still living in a construction zone.  It is tough, I will admit.  I am appreciative the insurance company put us in a hotel for five days, but I was hoping we'd be done by now.  And all this with a now six week old. Crazy!
 

This is the boys' playroom.  There is no where for them to really play.

 

Here is the view from the other corner.  There is a path to the front door.  It is looking much more put together than it did last week.

Our upstairs is even more cramped.  We had to move everything from the laundry room/storage area into the bedrooms.  There was a washer and dryer in my bedroom for two weeks! 

Looking all this is tough, and living through it is tough.  But I am so incredibly grateful that no one was home.  No one was hurt, and nothing was ruined beyond repair.  Plus, I get a new washing machine!  And Willy and I discovered that we still work really well together, even when under a ton of stress and tension.

Six Week Check-Up

Today was my six week check-up.  I can't believe I am two days away from having a six week old baby boy. Time has really flown by quickly around here.  I am sure my house being under reconstruction, Halloween, PTA stuff, and having two very rambunctious older boys has nothing to do with it. HA!

Today was tough.  Going in to see Dr. L. with my live baby should have been great!  But it really was a culmination of the past three years.  As a matter of fact, it was three years ago this week that I called to schedule an appointment because we were having trouble conceiving.  They weren't going to get us in until February.  We conceived Lucas and Caleb in December. 

Anyway, so many emotions have happened in that office.  There are so many memories that flood me every time I step off that elevator.  And I people watch now when I sit in the waiting room.  I notice those who just saw their baby for the first time.  I quietly pray for those who are waiting for their 10-12 week ultrasound. I keep to myself, and panicked today when Simon began to fuss.  What if someone is in there who can't get pregnant?  Or someone who has loss a baby(ies) and is hoping for some good news? 

I was in Room 36 today.  The memories of that room...It is where they took my staples out after my c-section with Lucas and Caleb.  I cried so much with my nurse and doctor that day.  I didn't want to be there at all.  There was so much pain.  And there are no pictures of babies in that room.  I wonder if it's done on purpose.  I was in there again four weeks later for my post-op appointment.  Dr L. crushed me when she said I had to wait six months before getting pregnant again.

I was in there in June of 2011 when I was still not pregnant and was really hoping my next visit would be because we were expecting again.  I didn't want to be there for some regular annual exam.  And the next time I was in that room was for my 24 week appointment with Simon.  Viability and past the point where we were when Lucas and Caleb were delivered.  Dr L. and I celebrated that day.

Then I was in there the day we scheduled the c-section for Simon.  We decided to wait one day past my due date.  I was nervous and anxious about that.  Dr L. said it was completely up to me, but that she really didn't want to cheat me out of 48 hours to try and go into labor on my own.  She wanted me to VBAC, as did I. 

Then today.  I was in there, with my living and very much awake baby boy.  The baby boy who spit up on me just five minutes prior in the waiting room.  The tears today were happy ones, ones of relief.  We all survived the past three years, and we did it together.

I won't go back until February.  This makes me sad.  I love my doctor and my nurse.  We have been through so much together, and to not see them for so long is a little tough to think about.  I've come to enjoy the chats with each of them.  And they have been such a large part of our lives, I'm really going to miss them.

But at least there is a very happy ending to this chapter, and everything looks great. For that I am eternally grateful!

Halloween

Halloween this year was definitely the best we've had.  Especially in the last few years.  In 2009 we were trying to conceive and it was taking longer than usual.  I was feeling frustrated, my cycle was everywhere. As we went through the neighborhood, I wondered if we'd have another baby next year or not.

 

In 2010, it had been almost 5 months since Lucas and Caleb had been born.  The entire evening was spent with me physically being with my family but emotionally being in another world.  My heart hurt, I was missing my two baby boys.  And the popular costume that year was Thing 1 and Thing 2.  I had almost ordered those onesies for Lucas and Caleb to wear on Halloween back in May.

 

In 2011, I was hoping we would start TTC-ing again.  I was 100% with my family, but would imagine pushing a stroller up and down those streets the following year. 

 

And this year, 2012, I was pushing that stroller.  All seemed pretty close to right.  Colton and Ethan ran from house to house.  Every once in awhile I thought about how crazy it would have been trying to keep track of FOUR boys running up and down the sidewalks.  And I felt Lucas and Caleb close by,with the swirling of the leaves and the soft snoring sounds of Simon in the stroller. 

 

Now for some pictures

 

The pumpkins the boys carved.  I'll post on that fun later.

Our breakfast that morning.  Willy and I make a pretty good creative team.

Happy First Halloween Mr. Simon!  

 

My boys and I

Ethan having a blast!  The Thomas pail is from Colton's 2nd Halloween...2007

Colton is so in to Ninja Turtles right now.  Love that he wasn't wanting some scary or gory costume.

These two house get together every year and put on this amazing display!  We love it, and we always look forward to seeing what each year brings.  In 2010 they did Adam's Family check it out here.  

This kid always gets soooo in to his character.  

Here is our haul from the night.  The boys were super excited and so were the parents.

Simon-1 Month

Simon turned ONE month old a week ago. With everything that has been going on with the house, I wasn't able to post for it though. But he is getting so big! The little boy does so much now.

He is awake and alert so much more than he was a couple weeks ago.  Simon is a great nurser, which I am very thankful for.  He does spit up quite a bit, but we are getting used to frequently changing clothes.  I am grateful for the closetful he has!  He also sleeps through the night, and has been for two weeks now.  I am so appreciative for this also.  He is a pretty easy going baby and has had a lot of firsts this first month.

Simon in his swaddle sack.  He LOVES to sleep in this, and I am going to have to buy some more.  Colton and Ethan both hated to be swaddled, so it took me a while to try swaddling him.

 Simon in a 0-3 month sleeper for the first time.  This is the first sleeper I bought for him.  I love the moose!

Baby boy loves his swing.  Not to mention rocking the baby legs and neon green chuck socks!

I love this sweatshirt and jeans outfit.  He just looks warm and cozy.

Willy was supposed to be putting Simon to sleep.  Jokes on him!!

Simon's first trip to the park.  He slept the whole time, but the time with a great friend was had.  Little did I know what I'd be coming home to in a half hour.

The three boys playing video games.  Simon sat here for 45 minutes with his big brothers.

1 Month Old.  And we captured half a smile

The difference the first month makes.  He looks so much more filled out.  And the onesie fits much better, he's not swimming in it.

 

I love this picture also, so had to share it.

And who has the cutest butt?

 

 

This past month has been absolutely amazing.  Even with the stuff with the house.  It feels like Simon has always been here, and we couldn't imagine life now without him.  He has helped heal my heart some.  There have been so many firsts this month that I had envisioned with Lucas and Caleb.  Those have been bittersweet moments.  Our first trip to church, our first MOPS meeting, first trip to Mike and Dru's, and our first family birthday party.  It really seems like it took so long to have a baby at one of those events.  So much waiting and wanting.  I am sure the next year will be full of the bittersweet moments, and I will embrace them for everything they are and every emotion they carry.

A Post A Day

It's November 1st.  And for the first time in a while it being the 1st affected me.  I miss Lucas and Caleb, and this morning I felt that familiar sting the 1st used to always bring with it.

I miss writing here.  I hate that I haven't made the time to sit down, post pictures, and just write about what is going on and how it is raising a baby after losing babies.  I have a list a mile long of posts I want to write.  So for November, I will try to post a post a day.  I will work down my list and get back into the habit of posting.

For now, here is a picture of Simon.  It was taken a few weeks ago, but I wanted to share this picture with everyone.  I love this onesie!  I still tear up when I see it, and when I see him in it.