2 Weeks Old

WOW! I can't believe 2 weeks have gone by.  2 weeks ago this moment (4:26pm) I was dilated 8 cm and they knew he would be here quickly.  They were pushing the last bit of antibiotics into my iv and calling my doctor.  Sometimes it feels like yesterday, yet others it feels like he's always been here.

 

 

This Week's Firsts: Cloth diaper, tear shed, coo, laugh, trip to Colton's school, trip to grandma and grandpa's, trip to to Toys R Us (if only he knew what we bought), and tummy time.

 

Best Moment: When I pick him up and he stops crying. It is so hard to choose, I love every single moment with him.

 

Cutest Moment: When he laughed in his sleep today.

 

How He's Sleeping: We only wake up once through the night now.  At 3am

 

What Surprised Us: How alert he has become the past couple of days.

 

 

This past week has been just as wonderful!  Monday was my first day with Willy at work.  I was really anxious about it, but it went really well.  Simon is already on a schedule, and seems to be doing great.  I hate how much time he spends in his car seat, to schools and back, but he doesn't seem to mind.

 

Our mornings are still a little hectic.  I get up earlier than the big boys to feed Simon, then they eat breakfast and so on.  Yesterday I almost sent Colton to school without lunch.  But we're getting the hang of it.

 

Simon had his two week appointment today.  He is 8lbs 13oz now and 22.5 inches!!!  I had been concerned about his spitting up, but he's gaining weight well, so we're not going to worry much.  It seems as though the spitting up may have more to do with my oversupply of breast milk than an upset tummy.  We're giving things another week.  If things don't even out, the consultant and I will try a few things to see if it helps some. 

 

We went out to Mike and Dru's on Sunday to meet the great-grandparents on Daddy's side.  It was really a fun visit.  I was a little concerned about going at first.  I'm not always very willing to share Simon with a bunch of people at once.  I am still clinging on to him quite a bit.  But I felt better as the night went on, and we really had a good time.

 



Here are some pictures from the last week:

 

Sleeping so peacefully in mommy's arms

 

Daddy was supposed to be helping him fall asleep.

Our first tummy time.

And here is one where daddy was supposed to be trying to wake him up.

Simon's first time in the Mei Tei carrier.  LOVE this carrier!!

Much more awake for tummy time.

Our first cloth diaper try.

 

Ethan reading Simon a book.  A fabulous big brother!

My sleeping baby.

Here are a few sneak peeks at his newborn pictures.

 Love love love this one!!

 

 

Well, time to feed and change littlest man.

1 Week Old

Wow! I can't believe you are already a week old!  Time has gone by so fast sweet baby boy.

 

This Weeks Firsts: Car ride, bath, visit to pre-school, dr's appointment, pictures, just about everything

 

Best Moment: Simon being born...hearing him cry.

 

Cutest Moment: When he was sleeping and gave me a HUGE grin

 

How He's Sleeping: Pretty good at night.  We've had 3 nights in a row of a 5 hour stretch

 

What He's Eating: Momma's milk

 

What Surprised Us: How well he already holds up his head.  And losing his umbilical stump already.

 

 

I promise to post his birth story soon.  I almost have it all written down to share.  It truly was the labor and delivery I had been praying for since we decided to try for a VBAC.  I am so incredibly grateful.

 

This past week has gone by way too quickly.  There are times when it feels like he just arrived, and yet there are others when I can barely remember what it was like without Simon here.  He fits in so perfectly here at home.  He goes with the flow pretty well, and is genuinely a pretty quiet baby.  I always thought he would be more of a touchy baby by the way he acted when I was pregnant, but he really isn't.

 

We came home from the hospital on Friday morning. I would have loved to come home on Thursday, but they made us stay due to my being GBS+.  We did well in the hospital, though I am sure I am sleeping better now that we are home.  The nurses didn't bother us too much, and Simon never once left my side.

 

Coming home was great. Both boys were still in school, so we had a chance to chill out some and unwind.  Colton and Ethan were both ecstatic when they came home and found baby Simon to be in my arms.  Both older boys are doing very well with him.  Colton continues to pretty much do his own thing while Ethan jumps at every little sound Simon makes.  He is embracing being a big brother.

 

Snickers has been wonderful!  He has calmed down so much since bringing Simon home. He also drops what he is doing to check on Simon when he makes so much as a squeak.  He is really gentle around him and super protective.

 

I have been pretty weepy the past couple of days.  It  has coincided with my milk coming in.  I know the emotions have to do a lot with hormone levels and stuff. But I also know that some of it comes from the drop in emotional stress also.  Simon is here.  He is alive, healthy, and here.  And although I still worry about him, it's not at the level I did while I was pregnant with him.  And when I hold him, nurse him, snuggle with him, there are times when I think about how it would have been with two newborn babies.  Those are some hard moments.  They are fleeting, but the emotional weight hangs around for awhile.  I am grateful for how wonderful things are with Simon, but it's hard knowing they are everything I wanted for Lucas and Caleb, but we didn't get them.

 

Simon has also started spitting up in the past couple of days.  The first round is right after he nurses and is most likely due to the flap in his esophagus not being fully developed yet. And the crazy amount of milk I'm producing.  The second round seems to be related to my intake of dairy products.  I am still having a tough time with dairy, also.  It seems that when I am cramping up, he is spitting up.  Since my taking Lactaid isn't going to help him, I am giving up the heavy dairy items such as milk, ice cream, cheese  cake, and the like.  If that doesn't do it, then we'll give up everything dairy.

 

Here are a few pictures from the week.  We took his newborn pictures today and hope to share them soon. They were soooo much better than the ones from the hospital.  That experience was excruciating and the prices outrageous.  Today was much better, and he was much happier.



 

Coming home from the hospital.

First nap at home.

Napping in the pack-n-play downstairs.  He loves to have his hands by his face, and often holds the binkie in his mouth.

After his first bath.  I have a very similar picture of Colton's first bath.

 

Getting ready to watch his first RAMS game! 

Thank you everyone for your prayers, thoughts, and support these past several months.  It's amazing to see this little boy and know that there were so many praying for him.  He is an answered prayer. 

40 WEEKS!!!!

 35 weeks and 5 days ago this picture was taken!  I don't think I have ever been so excited to see a line in my life. 19 and a half months after losing Lucas and Caleb we learned Cinco was on his way.  The excitement was short lived.  Four days later I began spotting.

At 6 weeks 1 day, I went in for an ultrasound and they saw nothing but an empty sac.  My heart was crushed.  Not only that, but the sac was measuring a week behind.  My doctor tried her best to reassure me that all could still be okay.  I began grieving.



At 7 weeks, 2 days we went in for another ultrasound, fully expecting to still not see anything.  There are absolutely no words to describe the emotions that flowed when we saw Cinco's heart blink.  He was growing, thriving, and we were still pregnant.

It's been a long, long 35+ weeks.  I am surprised to make it to 40 weeks.   There have been many days when I am hanging by a thread.  The prayers that have surrounded this baby boy are just amazing!  And I am grateful for every single one of them.  This leg of the journey has had it's ups and downs, with challenges I expected, and some that truly caught me off guard.

40 week Stats:

Baby size: Between 7-9 lbs.....hopefully

Weight Gain: 33 lbs ( I lost a little more)

How I feel: Pretty good physically considering I am sooooo very pregnant.   Nighttime is hard, there is little sleep involved.

Cravings: Sweet foods, along with greasy stuff.  What a combo.

Best Part of Last Week: Playing tag with my family at the park through the crazy tall grass garden at Nathaniel Greene

Looking forward to: Holding my baby boy tomorrow.


Simon is active today!  I am so grateful as he lets me know he is doing well and ready to enter this world.  I have prayed and prayed for labor to come on it's own.  But I have also prayed that if it's not safe for me to have a VBAC, that we would know, without a doubt.  I trust that no matter how Simon comes, that it is best for him and I. 

There are so many other things I want to write about, but for some reason, I am drawing a blank.  I go back and forth with the realization he is going to be here tomorrow, and the disbelief that plagues a momma who has lost a baby(ies).  It's a tough roller coaster to ride.  But every second will be worth it when I am holding Simon in my arms tomorrow.

Here are this weeks pictures.  I am ready for the beyond part of monkeys to dragonflies.

40 weeks

 

A bare belly shot. 

One half of his room.

The other half.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and support through this pregnancy.  We are so blessed to be surrounded by so much love.

PS I have a list of blog posts that need to be caught up on from the past month.  I promise to get to them soon.

Weeks 37 and 38

38 weeks and 2 days pregnant!  I can't believe we're right here at the end.  And time is still going by pretty quickly.

 

Baby Size: 19 inches 7 lbs or so

 

Weight Gain: 34 lbs

 

Symptoms: Everything that happens at the end.  Hungry, heartburn, reflex, insomnia, exhaustion, restlessness, aches, moody....most of all so excited to be here, at 38 weeks, with a healthy baby boy still growing.

 

How I feel: Ready to hold my baby boy in my arms

 

Cravings: Anything sweet.

 

Best Part of last week: Having a trial run to L&D.  Even though they sent me home, it gave me an idea of the emotions that will come with it.

 

Looking forward to: Impending labor????

 

 

Well, we are here at the end.  I am still very much pregnant and feel like a ticking time bomb.  I am grounded to Springfield.  Yesterday and today I have started having contractions around noon.  Yesterday they became pretty regular, then once again fizzled out after 8 hours or so.  They were never regular enough to head to L&D though.  Today they are still building, though they are already feeling a little more intense.  But I won't get my hopes up.  I know it's probably still going to be next week before Simon makes his grand entrance.

 

I find it hard to make the time to sit and write the past couple of weeks.  My attention span is pretty short unless I'm curled up on the couch with a book, or cleaning around the house.  Everything is pretty much ready, I just feel that need to be doing something. I still have a few meals left to prepare and freeze.  And then just the daily straightening up of stuff around the house.

 

The boys are getting antsy.  I can tell the excitement they feel.  There's a bit more bickering between them, and they also don't seem to be able to sit still much.  Everyone really seems to be anticipating Mr. Simon.  And as much as I am ready for him to be here, and as uncomfortable as I am....I still enjoy these last days.  

 

 

37 weeks

38 weeks

 

 First Sunday at church is name tag Sunday.  They thought Simon is ready for his, also.

The sign Dru found at Michael's.  I added the owl stickers.  How perfect...a star for Lucas and Caleb, and an owl for Colton, Ethan, and Simon.  

 

I finally found the perfect fabric for his closet curtains.  Thank you, Dru, for putting them together for me.

Rachel received two of these hats from her aunt.  She was kind enough to give one to Simon.  Thank you ever so much!!

 

Simon's name on his wall! 

 

I  think he has enough clothes now.

 

And here is the onesie I've been waiting for a month to arrive.  When I saw it on Dana' blog, I knew we just had to have one for Simon.  I cannot put into words the emotions I feel every time I look at this and picture my baby boy wearing it. 

Well, next week I'll either be posting a 39 week picture of Simon's newborn pictures.  Any guesses which it will be??

36 Weeks (9 months)

No more than 4 weeks left until I am holding my baby boy in my arms!  What a wonderful thought!

 

Simon size:  18.5 inches 6 lbs or so

 

Weight gain: 30 lbs

 

Symptoms: Everything you can have at 36 weeks.  I feel like a definite 36 week pregnant woman.

 

How I feel:  Pretty good in general.  I am tired and sore, but not like I was at this point with Colton.

 

Cravings: Sweet stuff.  And KFC chicken and cole slaw.

 

Best Part of Last Week:  Where to begin...2 baby showers and NST

 

Looking forward to: Shopping with Dru this weekend!!!!!

 

Let's see here....

 

We had our baby shower on Saturday!  Loved it, loved it!  There is a post that will be separate all about it.  Way too much to write and keep you here.  But I have to say I am blessed with the most amazing friends and family! I cannot wait to tell Simon all about all the love!  Will quit here before I get carried away....I plan on posting about the shower in detail tomorrow!

 

Monday was Ethan's first day of Pre-K.  Another separate posts with pictures.  He was so excited to go back to school!!

 

Monday was my 36 weeks appointment.  Weekly appointments now.  It is so hard to believe we are at this point.  It seems surreal a lot of the time.  Simon is measuring back on track.  Silly boy really grows in spurts.  Dr. L. checked me since we've been having regular contractions for a couple of weeks now.  Much to every one's surprise I haven't begun to dilate yet.  Huh?  Guess he's in there for a bit longer.  When she asked about Simon moving, I mentioned he had been sluggish.  She asked if he was moving enough for me to be reassured and I answered with yes.  She left to get the paperwork and said she'd be right back.

 

I sat there and thought about it.  I felt like I really may not be reassured by his movements.  That this might be our chance if something is wrong to find it.  What if something was wrong, and I didn't speak up?  What if we lost him, and I could have known and didn't say anything. I would live with that forever.  And why in the world do I have to have these thoughts running through my head.  The doubt.  So when she came back in, I told her maybe I wasn't feeling so good about it all.  She said she understood, and that we'd get me hooked up.

 

She sent me down the hall to the NST room.  The nurse came in, laid me in super comfy recliner, and hooked me up.  We talked about why I was there.  When I explained about my heightened anxiety due to losing Lucas and Caleb, she said she completely understood.  Dr. L. came in after about 5 minutes to see how things were going.  I have to say I am so grateful for having the doctors and nurses I have.  They truly care about Simon and I, and they show it.  Simon passed the NST.  Dr. L. said we couldn't ask for a more perfect score! And I feel the best emotionally that I have felt in weeks.

 

On Tuesday, I was all set to stay home in pj pants and a tank top.  I was going to finish getting ready for Simon and enjoy a day at home.  Willy called and BEGGED me to have lunch with him.  I told him I really wanted to stay home.  After some coaxing, I gave in and headed over there.  The girls in his office threw a surprise baby shower for us! How very wonderful!  I was so surprised and excited.  They are really wonderful, and again, I just feel so blessed.  We had a great time, and they bought some wonderful gifts for Simon and I.  Not to mention HUGE chocolate bars for Colton and Ethan.

 

Well, here are some pictures from last week!



 

 

Kristan and Tina.  They threw the shower for us!  I truly love these two women.  A girl couldn't ask for better friends.  I could go on and on, but another post.  Remember?

 

 The shoes I wore!  I paid $1.50 for them in July and had to have them for the shower.  I love them, and others seemed to enjoy taking pictures of them.

36 weeks belly shot.  

The corner above the changing table.  Love how it came together.

Simon's bag is packed.  Notice the pair of shoes peeking out.  hehe

36 weeks with Simon

 

36 weeks with Colton

36 weeks with Ethan

 

24 weeks with Lucas and Caleb.  I miss them, but know they are ever so close as Simon's arrival draws nearer.

Have a great week! I will post about the shower soon, I promise!!

35 Weeks (+2 days)

 

35 Weeks!  Wow, almost completely full term.  It's been 30 weeks since we found out we were expecting Baby #5.

 

Baby Size: 18.5 inches and 5.25 lbs.  Give or take

 

Weight Gain: 28 lbs.  (no weight gain between appointments this time)

 

Symptoms: Heartburn and reflux in the evenings.  The back pain is starting to set in some.  Along with the definite cervical pain from Simon's head pushing against it.  Even though he has dropped, I still have moments when I am very short of breath.  NESTING!!!!!  And Braxton Hicks contractions nightly.

 

Cravings: The most amazing chocolate that seems to only be found in Branson.  I am also craving orange crush soda.

 

How I feel: Pretty good for the most part.  Slightly in a panic at times with how close he really is.

 

Best Part of last week:  Hard to choose.  It' been a really good week. Simon is active.  Love it!!

 

Looking forward to: My baby shower on Saturday!!!

 

 

My 35 week appointment was on Monday.  I am still measuring two weeks behind, but she feels all is fine.  Simon is likely going to be a small baby.  They did the GBS swab (never fun), and she said she wanted to wait until next week to check me.  With my nightly contractions, she didn't want to encourage anything quite yet.  I had a lot of questions this time, since I tend to forget them at the other appointments.  Dr. L. was very patient with them and me.  She tried to reassure me the main concern that I should have right  now is that I go into labor on my own.  Everything else seems to be going as it should. 

 

I have been a nesting fool this week.  My house feels like it has transformed, and is getting ready for baby.  I am enjoying the nesting and the productivity. But, there truly isn't an evening that goes by, when I am resting, when the though, "Am I doing all this for nothing?" crosses my mind.  In the moment it all needs to be done.  But when things quiet down those thoughts creep in.  I've had to undo it all before, I really don't want to again.  Most the time I feel very confident Simon will arrive alive and healthy.  There are times, though, when I feel like I am just being oer-confident about it, that we just don't know.

 

I finally cut the tags off a few outfits this week.  They needed to be washed and packed.  I called a friend while doing it, so I could be distracted from what I was doing.  I remember with the other three pregnancies, I loved cutting off the tags.  Now it's a dreaded chore that I really want to put off until I know Simon will be wearing these clothes.  I hate this reality.

 

My baby shower is this weekend.  I am soooo excited for it to finally be here.  I am excited to know that we are two days away from making it to the shower.  Another milestone for us.  It also brings with it some anxiety.  I still have two more days for something to go wrong.  But we will be surrounded by friends and family on that day.  We will be celebrating Baby Simon, and really all we have been through the past two years.  These friends were by my side when Lucas and Caleb were born, they celebrated their lives with us a week later.  And they have prayed for Simon continuously throughout his life.  It's going to be a great day!!

 

I want to congratulate Dana and Ted on the birth of their beautiful rainbow, Emily.  After 5 losses, they finally got to bring home their beautiful baby girl.  She gives them hope, me hope, and so many other moms out there who have lost babies hope.  She is absolutely gorgeous and perfect.  Hearing her cry the other day really brought happy tears to my eyes. 



 

 

35 weeks belly.  Simon has dropped, though I think he just uses the extra room.

Whoot!  I love Scentsy! I love working for such an amazing company.  I found it perfect that they released this warmer in August, just in time for Simon.

Simon's bag is packed.

The dragonfly mirrors that hang from Simon's light.  Just noticed a light bulb is out.

The book Ethan picked out for Simon yesterday.  He said he will give it to him in the hospital when he is born.  I cried.

A video of Mr. Simon moving.  Pretty sure he was also cheering for the RAMS!  And he had the hiccups.

 

Weeks 33 and 34



I missed last week.  I took the picture, along with some others. Then time just ran away, and I realized I'd just be better off waiting until this week.

Baby Size: 18-19 inches and almost 5 lbs

Weight Gain: Dr's notes say 31 lbs, but I think their starting weight is off...more like 28 lbs

Innie or Outie: Most definitely an outie most the time.  Simon likes to poke it out.

Cravings: Anything edible at this point.  I love food, I love eating food, and I'm not too picky about food right now.

How I feel:  Pretty good most the time

Symptoms: Heartburn and reflux.  UGH!!!!  I am suffering through it with only Tums! Also forgetfulness and clumsiness.  Though those two hang around even when I'm not pregnant.

Best part of the week:  Getting alot done upstairs and letting the nesting take over.

Looking forward to: My birthday which is my next dr's appt, pre-k open house, and mighty mites registration!!!!

Simon could very possibly be here in 3 weeks!

My appointment last week was good.  The one noteworthy fact is that I am measuring 2 weeks behind.  This caused some minor panic, but was reassured that 2 weeks is okay.  If it becomes more than that, then we'll have an ultrasound and see what is going on with baby boy.  My ob seems to believe he's just a small baby.  And combined with the comments I've been getting lately I can almost believe that.  Several (10 at least) women have told me in the past week that I look tiny for 34 weeks.  Interesting to me, but I definitely appreciate the compliment.

I am feeling the increased need for rest and sleep.  15 minutes or so of activity can wear me out.  Standing still is more tiring than walking, though.  We took the boys to $1 day at the zoo last weekend.  I walked the entire zoo with my family, and pretty proud to still be able to do so.  And yes, I am pretty sure my husband was crazy for suggesting it, and I was crazy to go along.  It was fun, though.  And I realized that it is probably our last outing like that without pushing a stroller around.  Wow!!

Grief has reared it's ugly head more than once the past couple of weeks.  It tends to be more about anxiety and fear, but I know it's all related.  It seems the closer I get to holding my Baby Simon, the more anxiety pops up.  To be this close, and yet know we could still lose him is hard to swallow. I really try to enjoy the moments we have, but sometimes the fear just takes over. 

He still moves quite a bit.  About once a week or so he'll have a slow day and it nearly drives me over the edge.  I know he's running out of room in there, and that babies will have off days.  It's just scary.  He loves to push on my right hip.  It is becoming a little painful, and really have to wonder if it's in his way or something.  We still don't know if he's head down.  Hopefully next week we'll have a better idea. 

I have begun to pack our bags....slowly.  I'm not really sure what the deal is with me taking so much time.  But it'll be done in the next week or so.  I have the lists made out, just need to put it all together.  Also, we have yet to determine his coming home outfit.  Oh, I did order a really amazing onesie for him, and will likely have his newborn pictures taken in it.  If I have it next week, I post a picture and link.



We brought in baby stuff from storage last week. This is our old baby carrier.  We're getting a new one, but Ethan found this one.  He is carrying Lucas' monkey around in it. 

A smile for momma

This is the first toy we bought for Colton.  Even before we knew he was a boy. Willy and I both loved it.  Colton and Ethan have spent several 30 minutes sessions this past week playing with it.

Grandma went shopping.  Gotta love the Missouri State hoodie.  

Not sure why this is sideways, but here's more.  Love the feet of the sleepers.

Pictures from 33 and 34 weeks..  I see some growth there.

And a closer look. 

 Today was Colton's first day of 1st grade.  Expect a post and pics later. 

And anxiously awaiting the phone call from Dana's sister to say Emily is here safely.  So very excited for Dana and Ted to finally have lil' Emily in their arms!!!!!