29 weeks (and 2 days)

Wow, almost to 30 weeks.  So close to single digit weeks left.  I am really starting to feel some urgency in getting things ready for our newest little man.

Size: 16-17 inches and 2.5-3 lbs.  That's beginning to be a whole lot of baby!

Weight Gain: 25 lbs.  May have lost a pound or so in the past several days.

Innie or Outie: Closer and closer to flattie.

Cravings:  Salty and Sweet things.  Actually the sweet stuff first, then the salty stuff to make the too much sweetness go away.  Kind of hard to explain.

Symptoms: My knees and ankles are getting sharp pains in them at night.  And my hips are really beginning to hurt.  The heartburn has stayed pretty consistent, though it has been starting earlier in the evening. Bummer.

Best Part of Last Week:  Ethan and Simon playing with monster trucks

What I am Looking forward to: Finishing up Simon's name for his wall.



Ethan has really bonded with Simon this week.  I am not sure what clicked in that little guy's head, but I am very much loving it!  This weekend, Ethan was rolling a monster truck up and down my belly. (It has become a playground, apparently)  Ethan would stop the truck on the top of my belly, and Simon would kick it, making it roll back down.  Ethan would laugh and try it again.  It was so much fun to watch. 

Since then, Ethan has talked to him every night before bed.  Their conversations vary greatly, but it just really warms my heart.  The other night Ethan announced that he would be moving away when he is grown up.  He said that he will stay with us because he loves Baby Simon that much.  Then a few minutes later while we were watching a show about alligators, Ethan leaned over to Baby Simon, patted my belly and said, " It's okay Baby Simon, I know you're scared, but I am your big brother and will protect you."  This kid melts my heart completely. 

I truly pray that Baby Simon makes it here alive and healthy.  I really don't know how I could break Ethan's heart at this point.  And that fear resides inside of me.  Some days it's not as close to the surface as others.  I feel more at ease as each day passes, though.

My doctor's appointment went very well last week.  We are now on the two week rotation, which was celebrated by W and Dr. L.  Such a great point to make it to.  We also talked a little more about the VBAC and some of the plans.  She did say that we'll take him by c-section if he's not here on his due date.  What a relief to know that she won't be encouraging me to wait it out an extra week. 

That night I went to our local MEND meeting.  I really enjoy these meetings. I avoided them the first 4 months of this pregnancy.  I just wasn't emotionally in a place where I could handle the sadness of the reality.  It's kind of weird to be there at this point, though.  I love having the time to really be able to think about Lucas and Caleb and talk about them.  It is my time that is about them. I get to share about them, their lives, without others around me thinking I should really be concentrating on Simon.  It was a good meeting with some really heavy moments.  But Simon made himself known quite a bit through the meeting.  I really hoped that his movements weren't as noticeable to others around me as they were to me.  It helps that there were two other moms there who are expecting rainbow babies.

The boys are in VBS this week at University Heights Baptist Church.  Colton went last year and thoroughly enjoyed it.  This one holds a special place for me and this pregnancy.  Last year when Colton was going, I was doing a summer bible study.  One of the women in the bible study was very (36 weeks or so ) pregnant.  Her daughter was also attending VBS at UHBC.  I would see her walk in, very pregnant and happy, and I would think how I would really love to in that spot.  I am this year, and it's just so wonderful!

I also spent the day today shopping for more decorations for Simon's room.  I really found some great stuff here and there and can't wait to get it all together and up on the walls.  Mardels has some great owl stuff back in the teacher supplies section.  I am grateful Willy thought to look there a few weeks ago. 

I finished my Army Wives marathon last week.  I watched all the episodes over the past few months.  It's a tough one to watch, especially having lost babies.  There are lots of stories of loss, and there are episodes when the tears won't stop falling.  I have decided to start watching Grey's Anatomy.  I have seen a handful of episodes.  I figure as long as it is hot out, I might as well get some great tv in...thank you Netflix.  I am currently looking for a half hour show on there to watch once Simon arrives.  I figure him and I will spend quite a few 23 minute sessions together on the couch those first couple of months.

29 weeks

Snickers taking a break and loving on Simon.  Simon doesn't kick him as much anymore, and when he does, Snickers doesn't seem to mind. Guess they are beginning to get used to each other.

I bought 1 package of cookies Saturday evening and they were pretty much gone by Sunday morning.  My dad came down to visit and he is our family cookie monster.  Haha, Dad!  Willy and I ate some too, so I'm not saying my dad ate them all.  Anyway, Willy went out to pick up some bacon at 8:30 Sunday night and bought me some more cookies.  Willy bought the bacon for the BLT's I was very suddenly craving.  I was informed it was my craving run for the week.  Love him!!

The top three packages are for me, and the bottom one is for Willy. He said he bought those for himself to help him stay of the ones he bought for me.  He acts like I don't share well.

My wonderful husband in my apron getting ready to fry the bacon.  You have to love a man who brings home the bacon and cooks it too!!  And only a real man can wear an apron with heels and ruffles on it!

My diapers from Cowpatties.  I love them!!  Ethan is super stoked about the Superhero Squad one.

The completed collection (for now).  I feel ready to get started with cloth diapering and am pretty excited about it.

Ethan made this for Baby Simon in VBS today.  He proudly announced to everyone within earshot that he made something for everyone in our family, even Baby Simon.

Pretty sure Simon hit a growth spurt overnight.  I woke up and was shocked when I looked in the mirror. 

Wow,  I hope you've made it to the end of this novel!!

Until next week!

24 weeks (and 1 day)

24 Weeks!!!!!  A very HUGE milestone for Simon and I.  We have officially reached viability!!!!  Now for him to stay put for another 13-16 weeks, we'll be great to go!

Baby Size:  12 inches, just over a pound

Weight Gain:  No idea, and terrified to step on that scale tomorrow

How I Feel:  Great!  Have finally reached the feel good period.  And I am taking advantage of it.  Though I normally pay for it by bedtime.

Symptoms:  Reflux and sore tailbone.  And I am beginning to have to breath a little more shallow.  Plus, let's not forget the forgetfulness.  It is absolutely ridiculous.  I lose my train of thought mid-sentence at times.

Cravings:  Iced Mint Tea (decaf), chocolate cupcakes, and cereal.

Innie or Outie:  Still an innie!

Best Part of Last Week:  Remembering Lucas and Caleb, and knowing that Simon is doing great. 

What I am looking forward to:  Getting the orange drink tomorrow at my appointment.  Never thougt I would be so excited to get the GD testing, but it is a symbol of how far we have come!


Lucas and Caleb's birthday was no where near as tough as it was last year.  I really spent the day remembering them, their lives, and the amazing things they have taught me, and given me.  They are always in my heart.  Simon was quiet ALL day though, and that sent me to the doppler a couple of times.  That night, he played for 2.5 hours straight, though.  The boy likes to move in a big way!!!

Today I am 24 weeks 1 day.  This is the day my water broke with Lucas and Caleb.  I have thought about it quite a bit today.  Each braxton hicks contraction (I have 1 every couple of hours, sometimes 2) stops me for a moment.  But I know that this pregnancy is very different from theirs and there are no signs of danger any time soon.   Now to just get past the next 3 days, and I am sure I will emotionally breathe a lot easier.

Simon is definitely a mover! He is probably the most active baby I've had.  He wakes up anytime I roll over and will move for 15-30 minutes through the night.  Him and I have 5 or 10 minutes every morning before I get out of bed.  He moves around, I rub my belly, and tell him good morning, and how much he is loved.  He has several bouts throughout the day when is pretty active, and usually every night for an hour or so he moves around.  This morning, about 3:00am, he decided to try and poke his elbow (I am guessing for the sharpness) out of the left side of my belly. 

Okay, so here is an insane amount of pictures from the past couple of weeks.  I am hoping to get these on here now, and stay caught up through the summer. 

Our pool is open!  I love it and plan on spending many, many hours in it with the boys. 

We went out to Mike and Dru's for hotdogs and s'mores to celebrate the beginning of summer break.  It was a great time!!!  And I'm not telling how many s'mores I ate, but let's say it was good I stopped for extra chocolate bars on the way out there.

Colton and Ethan are playing well together so far.  I love this picture for so many reasons.  These two entertain me quite well. 

We received beautiful white roses from M.E.N.D. on Lucas and Caleb's birthday.

 And this amazing card from Kathleen.  It is sitting on their shelf.

The boys and I have finally finished Lucas and Caleb's flower garden.  Last year we were hoping to move, so had the beginnings in a large planter.  This year we moved them (plus some new ones) to a more permanent spot in front of the house.

 On Saturday, the boys went fishing with Willy.  Colton caught 3 fish and Ethan caught 2.  Below is Ethan pouting because he really is tired of waiting for a fish to bite.  Plus a half shot of my belly in the upper corner.

Here is Colton getting his 3.2 lbs of fish weighed.

Here is a belly picture and some other Simon pictures for this week:

24 weeks!!!  Do you see the bump sticking out just above my belly button? That is Simon's bum.  He has been pushing it out all day.

We bought the letters for the panels that will go above his bed today.  And here are the sheets I've been searching for.  Found one at the other day and had to buy it before I lost the chance.

We picked up our first set of cloth diapers on Saturday at the farmer's market.  They are super cute, and I am really looking forward to buying more!  The lady that is making them is due on Sept 25th also, and her and her husband have the same anniversary as Willy and I.  What a small world.

Simon's travel system came in!  I am so in love this set.  It is super soft, the colors are perfect, and ahhhh I just love it!!!  When I was carrying the carseat in, tears came to my eyes, and I really began to believe that Simon will be coming home with us in September.

Well, the boys are wanting to jump in the pool.  Hopefully I'll get back to writing more soon.

Last Minute Release

First, thank you Kristan for bringing your smile, your boys, and some strawberry lemonade yesterday morning. What a great difference they made in my morning.

Yesterday morning, a friend, Erin, messeged me about Lost and Found's memorial balloon release and 5K walk/run. Lost and Found is an organization for children who have lost parents, siblings, grandparents, loved ones. They also help the whole family. I have thought about taking Colton, but just like MEND, I hadn't gotten around to it.

Well, most of you know I don't run unless I'm being chased. But I did want to do the balloon release. I want to do one for Lucas and Caleb's birthday, but there is a small hang-up with the environmental stuff I have read. Lost and Found uses environmentally safe balloons and we were all in. I decided to bring Colton along with me, since he has a special bond with Lucas and Caleb.

I was running late, so Danielle and her mom, Sue grabbed our balloons for us. As I opened the marker to write Lucas' name, it all hit me. This whole past year, all at once. It's really true, I have babies in Heaven. There are no words to describe what I felt. But Danielle was by my side, telling me it was okay, hand on my shoulder. I looked at Colton, took a deep breath and began to quickly write.

We joined Erin's family and the Conaways (they lost a baby boy around same gestation May 25th). As were were arriving, a balloon popped. Sue ran back to the tent to replace it. By the time she got back with it and a pen, another had poppped. She wasn't 10 feet away and we discovered Lucas' had a pin-hole in it. Really?? Thank you, Sue for all your running back and forth to make sure we had balloons to send into the sky.

Colton and I before hand. The boys only takes goofy photos. I love that I will always have pictures of his personality.

3-2-1

There is something calming about seeing this in person. Sue leaned over to me, put her arm around me and said, "Let some of the pain float away with these balloons."

And it did.

This face helped also. I think alot of things came together for him at this moment.

The blue spot is the balloons. If you click on it, you should be able to see the specks.

After the release was the run. Colton and I will run next year. Danielle said they will join us. It could be interesting, but I really think it would be a great way to start the final stretch to Lucas and Caleb's birthday. We then let Colton run along the edges of the fountains, and water stairs. Why I didn't take pictures, I am not sure. I really wish I had. He did great staying out of the water until the very in. He fell, scraped his leg, but is okay.

We then found some Andy's coupons, came home and took Daddy and Ethan out for frozen yogurt, for the second night in a row.

I feel pretty good this morning. I hope the worst is gone. I don't expect it to, but then if it is, I'll be pleasantly surprised. I am so grateful for all the love and support that is surrounding my family during this time. We couldn't walk this alone. Each and everyone of you help make this time easier, and more special. We love you all!!