Five Years Part 1

Five years ago yesterday we found out we were having twins.  They were pretty sure they were identical, but they were growing well.  Our life was headed for a HUGE change.  I remember Willy and I asking the technician if she was joking.  We were shocked.  And I was really excited.  Everyone was. I still remember many details from that day. Riding home from the doctor, thinking how I was going to be a mom of twins.  I always wanted twins, not sure why, but I did.  I remember telling Dru at work and how excited she was.  IT was a huge birthday surprise! She told the entire dining center in one loud announcement.  There were phone calls and emails.  This was really going to happen.

Here's the first blog post when we announced here and began the journey.
http://earlstwins.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html
I was so excited to share with the world our experiences being pregnant and raising twins, along with two other boys.

And here I am five years later.  I still feel a sting when I wake up on February 18th.  I woke up in a bad mood yesterday, but couldn't place it until the afternoon. I know the next three and a half months are going to have some hard moments, days when the tears just flow.  I know by now to embrace those days for what they are. They are now moments when I can just stop and concentrate on the two little boys who aren't running around, adding to our wonderful chaos.

I miss them dearly.  I hate that there are days when I am just so busy with our four living sons, that they don't cross my mind except for a fleeting thought.  Their picture is by the bed, I say goodnight every night.  I packed most of their shelf away when we listed the house on the market.  I am so looking forward to putting it back up one day when we move.

Five years ago, it hadn't crossed my mind yet that this was the journey laid out for us.  There has been incredible heart-wrenching pain, but there has been indescribable joy also.  There were days when I didn't believe I would ever be happy again, and now most days I am blown away by happiness I feel.

The healing that has been brought is amazing.  I love that there are friends and family that continue to love, mention, remember, and embrace Lucas and Caleb.  There will always be a hole where they belong, but being surrounded by such amazing people softens the edges that were once very jagged.

One Beautiful Heartbeat

 

There's Lil' Turkey.  You can see her/his heart lighting up.  Love love love this little baby.  I am breathing the easiest I have since the positive result on the pregnancy test. Just seeing Turkey and a beating heart renews my hope.

 

I know I've said it before, but it's tough being pregnant after a loss.  I was a nervous wreck this morning.  I knew that once we went in that room there was no turning back.  Up until that moment, I assumed things were okay due to my symptoms being strong and my pants getting smaller.  But once we saw or didn't see a heartbeat, that was that.   And it took a few minutes for me to find Lil' Turkey's heartbeat.  I was trying not to panic as I scanned the screen for that little flicker that means so much.  What a sigh of relief when I saw.  I held back tears of joy, knowing that so far things are looking good.

 

As far as how I'm doing physically, well I still claim this is the toughest first trimester yet.  The nausea is hit and miss throughout the day.  I think I am figuring out how to control the amount of energy I have, and how I best use it.  My good friend, heartburn, arrived a couple nights ago.  My pants don't fit without the belly band, or I just wear maternity pants.  And the foil taste in my mouth is still sticking around.  But every ill feeling I have just reminds me that baby is growing and healthy.  I try to be grateful for it all.

 

The appointment went well today.  Heartbeat 174.  Measuring 9 weeks 3 days, right on with my calculated due date of November 17th.  One inch exactly.  Lil' Turkey was sleeping for the ultrasound, so didn't get to see baby move, but I really didn't need to as long as that heart was flickering.

2012: What a Great Year

Oh what a year 2012 has been.  This year brought us Simon.  We rediscovered hope.  I am sad to see the year end, almost.  It's a different sadness than it was 2 years ago.  I remember Lucas and Caleb's year, that New Year's Eve.  2010 ending meant their year was ending.  It was hard, I hit grief's brick wall that day unexpectedly.  This year has just been so great to our family. 

 

 

 January we found out we were expecting Cinco, our fifth baby.

 February brought fear as I began spotting and we didn't see a baby on the ultrasound. (Picture not actual picture, but very similar)

 

But a few weeks later, here is our Cinco!  His heart was beating and the tears flowed.

 

In March we took the boys to the circus.  I was able to muster up the energy to enjoy the night. 

 

April was Colton's 6th birthday and 18 weeks pregnant!

In May we learned Cinco was Simon.  What an amazing appointment that day.  We also learned Simon would be here a week sooner than we had been planning.  Whoo hoo!

 

I conquered my fear of buying these in May also.

 

In June we remembered Lucas and Caleb on their 2nd birthday.  The day was a good one, and there was more happy than sad.  

In July we celebrated the fourth with good friends. Twice!

 

 

August saw a crazy heat wave, but we toughed it out to take the boys fishing.

We also went and saw Monster Trucks in July!  That was such a blast!

 

Colton started first grade in August

 

35 weeks pregnant!

 

And my amazing friends threw my baby shower.  What a fabulously perfect day!

September found me 38 weeks pregnant.

And Ethan's first day of Pre-K

 And after 2 false labor trips, my baby Simon was born.  Healthy and Alive. 

 

October was Halloween with my three boys.

 

And who can forget the flood in our house.  Not to mention the 5 day hotel stay with a 4 week old.

November brought house construction, a HUGE Thanksgiving feast with 20 people, and Simon's first bubbly smile.

 

December came quickly. 

Our family.  3 boys here on Earth, and my heavenly babies symbolized by their pin on my chest.

 

It has truly been a tremendous year.  I have grown so much in so many ways.  My faith, by leaps and bounds, as my pregnancy with Simon tested it to it's very core at times.  I am grateful for everyday of 2012.  2013 will be interesting, and I am ready to take it on!

We are having...

A healthy baby!!!!! 

Our little Cinco looks perfect!!!  Cinco is measuring large, about 10 days ahead.  They moved my due date to the middle of what the two ultrasounds projected, so Sept. 25th.  This puts me at 20 weeks and 3 days.  I skipped a week, whoo hoo!  Cinco is weighing 15 oz.  Cinco should be weighing closer to 10.6 oz.  Big baby. 

A fabulous profile shot.  Cinco has Colton's nose, which is also Lucas and Caleb's nose.

And here is a great shot of a foot.  This baby was all over the place!  Love how I can see each and every toe.

Hi mama!  We received a great wave from little one!

And the shot we saw as soon as she turned the u/s on.  My beautiful baby boy showing the world his goods!!  There is absolutely no doubt here.

I am so excited about having a little boy.  Contrary to how I thought I might feel, my heart is just so full of joy and love.  I was crying some happy tears as we watched him move around.  We have chosen Simon as his name.  I am amazed at the peace I feel right now.  I just know, today, that this baby boy will be coming home with us, and will be a spunky addition to our family.  I am so excited to meet this not so little guy in four months.  (WOW, only four months!!!)

I decided to do some shopping for little man (or chipmunk as he has been lovingly referred to).  I forgot how truly small newborn clothes are.

I am looking forward to doing tons more shopping.  On Sunday, Dru and I are heading out to shop Simon.  Since it's been 5 years since we've had Ethan, I have little in the clothes department. (We bought everything in pairs for Lucas and Caleb.)  Not to mention that clothes are different and super cute now. 

Well, thank you all for being patient! 

A Few Things

I am not feeling so hot, so this will be short and sweet.

Yay for being at 19 weeks!  Love it.  Though I just really don't have the energy to post details this week.  I am guessing it's allergy crud.  But it's enough to keep me off the computer for more than a few minutes at a time.

Tomorrow is U/S day!  I am so incredibly excited, yet anxious.  I have a few favors to ask all of you though.
 1.)If Cinco is a boy, none of the following comments will be appreciated:

        -I'm sorry
             -I'm not, healthy is #1 here
        - Wow! Three boys!!!  That'll be a handful!
             -Thanks for reminding me.  It should really be five.
        -Are you going to try again for a girl?
             -Ummm, let' get this baby here alive and healthy first.
        -Anything else around these lines. 

As much as I would love for Cinco to be a girl, the true goal of tomorrow is to be reassured that Cinco is a healthy baby.  I don't mean to be rude with the above.  I know from my pregnancy with Lucas and Caleb that these are common responses.  And while they aren't said with hurtful intentions, they will sting me a bit. 

I will not be going back home this weekend, so I plan on posting what we find out here tomorrow evening sometime.  Though, depending on how I am feeling (cold-wise), it might be Friday.

Well, I am off to rest a little more.  My head and lungs feel like they are about to explode.

22 weeks

Basics:

Gestation: 22 weeks

Uterus measuring: 28 weeks

Weights: Lucas 1lb and Caleb 1lb1oz

Girth: 48 inches

Weight Gain: 24.5 lbs

Food of the week: Vanillla Ice Cream with strawberries and reeses pieces, all covered with chocolate syrup







I had my 22 week check up today. The boys look great and sounded great! I seem to have more fluid than normal, making my uterus a little bigger than normal. I should measure about 26 weeks, but am measuring at 28 weeks. My doctor is going to bring me in more often and keep me within 100 miles of home. I have also been having braxton hicks contractions daily. She said it is normal and with the extra fluid I will probably even have contractions earlier. If I have 6 or more in an hour, I am to go to L&D. And I have been told to just take it easy.

Lucas is lying across my cervix, which is where he has been for quite awhile. His head is pretty low, which I feel quite often. He is already stubborn and wouldn't give us a good profile view, though. Caleb is up high with his head resting on my lungs. Which I often feel, also.

The past couple of week have been kind of rough. I hurt much more and am having a hard time being on my feet for more than 20-30 minutes at a time. It also seems as though my ankles are beginning to disappear. Which isn't something I've experienced with the other 2 pregancies.

Willy has been extra helpful, which I am grateful for. Colton came down with strep throat, but seems to be better, but it looks as though Ethan may have it now. On the flip side, Ethan is finally potty trained making things a little easier on me.







Caleb
Lucas

Introducing....

Caleb is the twin in the 1st picture and Lucas is the twin in the 2nd picture. Yes, I am going to be the proud mommy to FOUR boys! It's amazing how incredible that sounds, and how much I am loving the sound of it. We are truly excited for the adventures that are ahead of us. The boys were quite active during our ultrasound and were kicking each other in the head. My husband, whom I love so much said, "I hope they don't stay like that the entire time, they really won't get a chance to socialize with each other much."

I don't think the older boys think too much over the twins being boys. And a lot of the responses I received was laughing. Everyone knows how we were really hoping for girls. But since my fall last week, it really made me realize that I really only want healthy babies and a good pregnancy.

I've also been having sharp pain in my left side and upper belly region. When I talked to my dr about it yesterday, she reassured me it was just round ligament pain. She commented once again that since this is my third pregnancy I am going to be more uncomfortable and since I am carrying twins, it's even going to be more uncomfortable. Great!!!

I now need to go throught what boy clothes I have kept to see what we are going to need before the Mother of Multiples Sale. Last spring we were pretty sure we were going to wait 4 or 5 years before adding to our family so I sold a bunch of their clothes. A few months later we changed our minds. Oops! And we never would have thought we would be having two little boys at the same time. At least I kept socks and onesies. hehe

And for those who are wondering....we are not planning on having any more children to try for a little girl. We feel very blessed with the boys we have/are having and 4 children are plenty for us.

Ugh!

It's been a tough week. On Tuesday I went to the grocery for a tomato and ended up slipping in a puddle of water in the store. I landed primarily on my left knee, so no immediate injuries to my ever-growing belly. But they sat me down for awhile and let me go home after we were sure I was okay. I called my dr when I got home and they brought me in for an ultrasound. Both babies look great and nothing looks to be leaking. They were actually both asleep at the time I went in. We also learned that I gained 8 lbs in 12 days!!! WOW!!

The boys allergies are really acting up right now making them a little more needy and clingy. It is becoming harder for me to help them as much when they don't feel well. Colton seems to understand, but Ethan is becoming a mommy's boy again.

Our next ultrasound is on Monday. We will have a full growth scan and should learn if the twins are boys or girls. I am really excited to find out and can't wait to be able to refer to them with their names.

Amazing Growth and some movement

So, I am 16 weeks pregnant tomorrow. And my belly has grown and incredible amount in the past two weeks. Below is the picture taken last night and one of me when I was 8 month pregnant with Ethan. CRAZY!!!!

The twins are moving more regularly. Baby A has soft, flutter-like movements more often. Baby B has sharp, rippling-like movements a little less often. It's neat to feel the different movements on different sides of my belly.

In a week and a half we will find out the sexes of the babies and have names for them. Then we can do some shopping and more planning.

14 weeks tomorrow!!!!

I will be 14 weeks tomorrow. We are definitely through the first trimester hump! We had an ultrasound and appt today for a routine check-up. The ultrasound went well. They still only found one placenta, so the twins are identical. The ultrasound tech spent quite a bit of time looking for the membrane that seperates the sacs, so Willy and I had ample time to watch the twins as they were being moved around. Although she wouldn't tell us if they are boys or girls, Willy nor I saw any evidence of "extra appendages" to confirm that they are boys. hehe Hopefully we will know for sure by my next appt on 04/12/10.

Their heartbeats are great at 171 and 163. They seem to be doing very well and they definitely enjoy each other's company.

Below is a the ultrasound picture from today of them boxing and Apple sticking her tongue out at Blueberry. And then my 14 week belly shot. There seems to have been tons of growth in the past 4 or 5 days, although my total weight gain for the first trimester is at 3.5 lbs.

Finding Out

So we've known for close to a week that we are expecting twins! The shock is now gone and we couldn't be more excited! Colton is super pumped and talks about how there is one baby for him and one for Ethan. Ethan is finally joining in on the excitement.

I will never forget my shock when the ultrasound tech said there were two babies "in there" I asked her if she was serious and she seriously looked at me and said, "I wouldn't kid about that." I then looked at Willy and he was grinning from ear to ear. There had been so much kidding around about us having twins from my grandma and his mom over the past several months that it never seriously crossed my mind. I guess the two of them knew something I didn't.

I am now reading as many books as I can on having twins. For those who know me well, I am sure you aren't suprised. I don't think it is possible to know too much about what to expect.

Things I have learned this week include: I have to eat 2700 calories a day, including 9 servings from the bread/grains group! My belly can get bigger by the day. My level of energy is directly associated with the amount of food I eat and how much I eat...until I eat too much. I cannot stand the smell of peanut butter.

I am really excited about what the next weeks, months, and years have in store for us! It is going to be an amazing adventure.