Back in the Swing

Today wraps up the second week of school for the big boys.  And I think we are finally getting back into routine around here.  At least we are almost making it out the door on time in the mornings.  The boys really like their teachers, and are doing well in their classes.  The afternoons and evenings are still a little rough, but we're managing.  I think I am still trying to fit a ton of stuff in that I really couldn't during the summer.  And my Scentsy business is beginning to really take off again, so that keeps me busy, also.

This boy is getting so big.  I love how unimpressed he is here.

Simon is enjoying them being back at school.  He loves his big brothers, but I am sure it is nice to not be yelled at by them all. day. long.  I know it's nice to have to be hearing it. I'm also enjoying the one-on-one time with him before Benjamin arrives.  I know he is going to have a hard time once Benjamin is here and he realizes Benjamin is here to stay.  We took him Wednesday to Build-A-Bear to make a big brother animal.  It was so much fun!  He chose a bulldog with a dinosaur roar!  Love the kid!!

Speaking of the Simon.  The kid is so full of personality!  He loves animals and fish!  We spend a ton of time watching fish in aquariums.  I am so ready for the cooler weather so we can spend more time at the zoo.  Our zoo is far from impressive, but watching him enjoy the animals makes it so much fun.
I am starting some tot school stuff with him next week. He is so smart, and I really want to encourage his love for learning. 

I don't think I've introduced our kitten, Piper, on here.  We found her about five weeks ago in a culvert pipe out in the country.  She was crying, sticking her head out of a hole.  Simon saw her and she became ours.  She is such a loving kitten.  She purrs all the time and has chosen me as "her person."  She enjoys, sometimes tolerates, the boys. She is also full of spunk and cuteness.  Here are a few pics.

 

 



Everything is going well with Benjamin.  His movements are becoming more pushes and shoves.  Some are painful, but I still love every. single. movement.  He still has a pretty good schedule for when he's awake and when he's resting.  We had a little scare the other day when my umbrella assaulted my tummy while I was trying to shut it.  After a phone call to the nurse, and 30 minutes waiting for lil one to move, I was reassured (mostly) that all was okay.  I really look forward to meeting him in November.

Well, that's about it for now. I have to head out to MOPS and get my Friday going.

Surviving the Milestones

I thought I'd been doing really well this pregnancy.  The fear has been at a minimal since finishing the first trimester.  I've enjoyed this pregnancy with an underlying knowledge that horrible things happen, but it wasn't at the forefront of my mind every hour of every day.  I've enjoyed that so much!

24 week baby bump

Monday was 24 weeks for Mr. B.  It was such a sigh of relief, knowing if things started to go south, he'd have much more of a chance of surviving. Viability....24 weeks.  How little I knew about that before Lucas and Caleb were born. 24 weeks was just another week down til meeting our little men.  Know it's circled in bright red on the calendar.  The second big target date to reach. 

I was talking with Willy last weekend about how this week could be a tough one for me.  I remember I was a huge mess between 24 and 25 weeks with Simon. 

24 weeks, 1 day: water broke with Lucas and Caleb
24 weeks, 3 days: Lucas died
24 weeks, 4 days: Lucas and Caleb was born
24 weeks, 5 days: (Day one after birth) Caleb died.

That's a whole lot of scary moments to swim around in a short amount of time.  I breezed through Tuesday this week.  We spent the day at SDC as a family.  Wednesday was a great day for me.  And Wednesday night I was falling asleep, patting myself on the back for handling this week of pregnancy with Benjamin so well.  Fear hadn't crept in much at all, and I was enjoying my moments with him.

Then Thursday morning hit.  Benjamin didn't wake up with me as he ALWAYS does.  He was quiet through my shower and breakfast.  I had a regular prenatal visit scheduled, so I was trying to get ready for it.  But as the minutes passed by without feeling him moving around, I started to make plans.  How if I couldn't find his heartbeat with the Doppler after breakfast I would have to make plans for the kids so Willy could come with me to the dr.  How I would have to call my friend and let her know I wouldn't be picking up her son.  And the flashbacks began.  How much pain there was when Dr M looked at me and shook her head when she couldn't find Lucas' heartbeat.  And all I could do was pray.  Pray for the pain and fear to just go away.  Try and have faith that no matter what, we would be okay.  Fear is not of God, and I try to remember that in those dark moments.  I try to embrace it with all I have left.

I found Benjamin's heartbeat after breakfast.  It was quiet and slower than usual, but I felt confident it was there.  Knowing I would be seeing Dr L in less than hour, I finished getting ready and headed to the office on my own.  I talked with a close friend on the way there that helped to talk me down a little.  I have to say that it is so wonderful to have friends who "get" it, and don't think you are totally nuts at times like this.

My nurse, W, found his heartbeat.  150....not his normal.  She found it again. 150, his heartbeat was there.  He gave me a good jab while she was looking for it.  Happy with that.  Dr L measured me at 25 weeks, he's growing well.  And he was pretty active most of the day.  I could breathe a little easier.  But not entirely.

Here's the facts.  I know the pain of losing a child.  I know the reality of losing a child.  I know it can, and does, happen more than once.  And sometimes those facts play louder in my head than I would like.  Sometimes they're like a broken record, others I've succeed to push them far behind and have faith that Benjamin will be in my arms, crying in 15 short weeks.  The roller coaster ride of emotions that come with a subsequent pregnancy is tough.  This pregnancy has been easier, but there are still the tough moments.  In ways I miss the naïve moments of pregnancy I had with Colton and Ethan, but I honestly believe I wouldn't be able to truly embrace the moments, as I do now, that I have had with Simon and Benjamin.

Benjmin-22 Weeks

22 Weeks, wow how they have passed by so quickly.  We've been so busy this summer, and now there are only FOUR weeks left.  I hate that I haven't posted here much.  I've wanted to, but finding the time has been difficult.  And with the computer upstairs now, it's just hard to steal away long enough to do it.  My hope is that along with some Scentsy business I need to be working on, I can also spend more time up here catching the blog up.

So, at 22 weeks I am feeling pretty good.  Benjamin has become incredibly active and strong.  I feel him often, and sometimes receive a pretty strong jab that makes me gasp out loud.  We haven't really prepared much for him, as we are really hoping to be in a new house sometime soon.  But I am more and  more excited everyday for this little boy to be a part of our family.

Speaking of little boy, boy number six.  I couldn't be any happier to be welcoming another baby boy.  I was caught off guard, kind of.  But I am truly a mom of boys. We decided to do a surprise gender reveal at our birthday bash this year.  And while I know it went off beautifully, I am pretty sure I wouldn't do it again.  I have some control issues, and being completely in the dark for nearly a week just about did me in.  Melanie was the friend who we chose to know and plan it.  And I couldn't have asked for any better. 

The night before I was crying and cranky and just flipping out a little.  I felt so sure Turkey was a girl, this pregnancy has been do different.  I knew it could be a little boy in there, but I was afraid of how I might react if so.  Try again, I was terrified.  75+  people were going to be watching my reaction, and I never in a million years wanted this baby to think I was disappointed.  I spent quite a bit of time praying for grace.  And God so gave me that grace.  There were no tears, and I really didn't feel let down at all. At the very last moment, I knew the balloons would be blue. And I truly felt good about it. 

We had our official anatomy scan on the July 3rd.  Benjamin looks perfect, absolutely perfect.  The sonographer really took her time, so we were able to really watch him as him moved around.  We were given several pictures and even a video of him flicking his finger at us.  Truly love him so very much!

So, here are some pictures from the past month or so to share.

 

 The only dress I can wear when pregnant.  Taken last Friday.

 

 Also taken on Friday

 

My view looking down on the Fourth of July.  Benjamin spent three days hanging out the left and my belly looked as though it pointed to the left.

 

 

Next post will hopefully be a ton of pictures from the birthday bash.

Day With Ethan

Last Friday was Ethan and mine's day out.  The library here was having a special afternoon at a train museum in town.  Ethan lives for trains.  His world revolves around trains.  This museum is actually a retired train with an engine, revamped cargo car, double decker passenger car, and a caboose.  They have so much in there, we could have spent all afternoon.  

 

 

Ethan goes almost as much as Simon, but when it comes to trains, we can sit and talk all day.  He wanted to know what every piece of memorabilia was.

He loved this engine!

I can't wait to show him this picture 20 years from now when he is driving his train.

This is probably his happiest place on earth.

We went through the train once, did a craft, and went through a second time.  There were things he missed the first time that he was excited to see the second time.  I really enjoyed spending the time with him and sharing his passion.  He's growing up fast, and does well as the "middle child".  Though I guess that will be changing in 22 or so weeks.   He is so full of passion and spunk.  And he's learning where he fits in in the world.  But he knows how he feels about things, and there is nothing or no one that can change his mind. I love that about him, and I can't wait to see how far it gets him.

 



We hit up El Charro for lunch afterwards. He is my Mexican food buddy.  We could probably both eat here every day.

 

I'm not sure what I'll plan next with the big boys, but I love spending the time with them individually.  This time is short, and passing far too quickly at times.  Summer is cut short this year, and I am wanting to make sure we make lots of memories.  

Night Out With Colton

A few weeks ago, before school ended, Colton asked if we could have a night out together.  Just him and I.  We spend the ride to across town to gymnastics and back the two of us each week, which is always full of enlightening conversation, but he wanted an entire evening.  Dinner and activity.  I was immediately game for it.  I told him once school let out we would set a date and go.

Last Thursday was our night out.  All day he watched the clock waiting for 5:30 arrive, knowing that was when we would be able to head out. I let the big boys go swimming in the afternoon.  When they came in, Colton came down from their room dressed in a nice button down shirt and nice shorts.  He grinned at me and told me that he wanted to look nice for me for the evening.  Love that boy!

I love eight.  I am so enjoying the time with him.  We have these amazing conversations where he asks true questions and we work together to find the answer if I don't know it.  He wants details, but not just with a "Why", but is very specific.  He is turning into a little man now.  I enjoy hanging out with him, and I know that we both leave the moment better.

We had dinner at Cheddar's.  He chose to eat on the patio, since the weather was perfect for it.  We don't often take the boys out to eat anymore to restaurants.  Between Simon's allergies and the cost to feed FIVE, I'd just much rather cook and eat at home.  We had plenty of time to talk.  Most of the conversation revolved around the ants crawling up and down the brick pillar next to the table.  Did you know that ants take around 250, one minute naps a day?  I didn't either.  We talked some about school and moving to a new home and school next year. 

My handsome first born.  He loves the thumbs up thing. I just really love this kid!

 

Afterwards we headed out to play some miniature golf.  There's a place here in town where it's $3.75 total for him and I to play!  We haven't played together in almost four years or so.  Just never make the time.  

It looks like he missed the ball, but he had just hit it.

Just before his Hole-In-One.

 

We had a great time talking and hanging out.  He had so much fun, even when it took five or so shots for the ball to find the hole.  We laughed a ton.  And the only time I used my phone was to take pictures. 

 

We then headed to Sonic for shakes for the family, minus Simon who was in bed.  The evening was perfect.  I really hope to do something like this with each of the big boys once a month.  They are both at such a fun age, and with school out I really want to reconnect with the both of them, separately.  This Friday Ethan and I are headed to the train museum and Mexican food for lunch.  

Summer Fun

Summer vacation started last week.  We've had so much fun already! I am really enjoying have the big boys home and not having to watch the clock all evening to make sure they are in bed on time to get up at 6:30am.  We've had a lot of spontaneous fun, but also some just hanging around the house together time.  I am so excited to see what the rest of this summer will be bringing!

Last Thursday we headed to Silver Dollar City.  It started raining when we were about 25 feet from the van.  But umbrellas and covered wagon kept us mainly dry.  We had to ride the train first for Simon and Ethan.  Then we hit up some more of their favorites and spent quite a bit of time in the kid area with the ball pits and splash pads.  This was the first time Simon has played on the splash pads.  The kid had a BLAST!!!! He just ran and laughed.

 

Simon loves any kid his size. 

 

 

 

On Friday we headed to the library to pick up the summer reading cards.  This opportunity rocks!  The kids read four hour, do four activities, then they earn cards towards free activities around town.  Then there are more incentives to read on the card also.  Ethan loves the Library Station because there is a train engine they can play in.  

I caught this picture of Colton reading to the kids inside the train.  Love this!!

 

 

We've also hit up a Time Warp Tuesday at The Palace.  $17 for four movie tickets, large popcorn, and large drink.  What a deal!!  We saw the Lego Movie.  The boys were so excited to see it.  And Simon did pretty well. He's in that in between stage where two hours is just too long to not be running around.  But he sat til about 10 minutes from the end.

 

 

I popped Simon some popcorn in the air popper before we left so he could also have some.  Lots of popcorn kept him entertained through most of the movie.

 



Quick Turkey update: I am feeling pretty good most of the time.  I feel *pops* a few times everyday.  There are definitely some differences this pregnancy.  Such as I can't prepare and eat chicken.  The thought makes my stomach churn.  Weird.  I am also a lot less anxious this time.  I know so much plays into this.  But I am grateful for it.  I am looking forward to finding out boy or girl in three weeks. 
 
Well, I have to get moving and chasing some boys around.  I can't wait to share more of our fun!

Four Years

Happy Birthday to my sweet twin boys, Lucas and Caleb.  I can't believe it's been four years since they were born.  Although I would give anything to celebrate their birthday with them here, we still had a great day celebrating them as a family. 

I woke up this morning to see their lilies had bloomed.  These lilies bloomed for the first time when I was in the hospital with Lucas and Caleb.  Willy had come home to shower and pack up some more clothes.  He saw they had bloomed and took a picture for me.  Here is the picture from today.

I love how only two bloomed today.  They were saying hello.

 

 Our afternoon was spent at a lake.  We had a picnic, attempted fishing, and the boys ended up swimming some.  The wind was crazy, the clouds rolled in and out.  We saw several dragonflies throughout our time there.  Each one just warms my heart.  Colton was really excited about seeing dragonflies on Lucas and Caleb's birthday.

 

Here are some pictures from the day.

 

 

Simon threw rocks the entire time.  The boy entertains himself well.

My bookworm

A few sprinkles fell...

15 minutes later.  Only in Missouri

Simon fishing with daddy

 

 

And a belly shot.  16 weeks tomorrow.

 

 

Thank you everyone who remembered the boys today.  Your love for my family means so very much!