Secondly, if you are a BLM reader and haven't signed up for the Holiday Angel Exchange, you can go HERE to do it! We are at almost 150 mommies right now, which is crazy spectacular!! My original goal was 100, now I'm shooting for the stars with a goal of 250! How very awesome that would be. Feel free to share the link on your blogs and facebook pages. This is a fabulous project that is going to help so many through a tough time of year.
So my reason for not writing all week....I have been having really painful abdominal cramping this week. Not really sure of the cause, but they have SUCKED! I am talking pain relatively close to labor pains every 10-15 minutes 24 hours a day in my upper abdomen. They have been short, like 15-20 seconds, but it does get old and exhausting. I was thankful that they slowed down at night to about 45 minutes apart, but the really sucked. So I didn't sit at the computer for longer than 5 minutes or so at a time. But I am feeling much better today. So far, no cramping, only some tenderness. YAY!!
Other parts of our week...
I had to take Ethan to Urgent Care on Wednesday night. The boy was having some boy problems and was in some pain. He is fine, just an infection. But it is really hard to talk about your son's boy parts to a nurse and use adult terms. Just feels a little dirty.
Yesterday we took meals to Michelle and Kristan. Michelle had boy #2, Lincoln, three weeks ago and Kristan had her kidney surgery almost 2 weeks ago. Both families had tacos last night for dinner, along with mine. Colton and Ethan requested to bring friends along for the drive. This is Colton with his Anna.
And Ethan with Baby Bear. Ethan has started having full-on conversations with Baby Bear and it is so very adorable!
We woke up this morning and decided it would be fun to have donuts for breakfast. And mommy thought it would be more fun to go out for donuts.
This boy is in complete heaven!
I didn't think about the sugar rush that would come after 3 Krispy Kreme donuts and chocolate milk. As I was dropping off Colton at school, I made sure to apologize to Mrs. Michelle.
Something else came up at Krispy Kreme that I want to share. I ran into a friend/old manager of mine. We run into each other probably once or twice a year. I don't think I've seen her since last January or so. She always asks how I am doing and how things are going.
Today when she asked, I said we're doing pretty good and tried to leave it at that. I don't feel the need to spill out about Lucas and Caleb as much anymore. And it's a tough mental battle when I run into someone that didn't know I was pregnant with them. Well, when I went back up to get my coffee, she started asking details about how things were going. You know, like pretty good wasn't good enough. So I spilled, with caution.
And you know, she had this horrified look on her face that I was standing there, telling her that I delivered and lost twins at 24 weeks and there wasn't a tear in my eyes. That I was able to tell her that it's been tough, but I'm doing pretty well most the time. That I could smile and talk about my twin boys that are no longer here. This look tends to frustrate me. But I realize now that unless you have lost a baby(ies) that you can't understand how free it feels to be able to do this. I mean, the fact that I can get out of bed and enjoy a morning, day, and evening means the world to me. I appreciate that so much! I used to take that for granted, I didn't know any better. And I don't feel angry at her for giving such a look. I felt that pang of guilt, at first. But then I felt happy. Happy that I can feel like this after everything we have been through.
Donuts for breakfast would be so much fun. I just might have to do it myself! I love that Ethan is talking to his bear. So cute.
ReplyDeleteI often think I surprise people when I talk about Jacob without crying. I think they keep searching my face for the beginning of a breakdown, but it doesn't come in front of them. I don't know if they are relieved or think that I'm not handling it well!