I am finally feeling close to 100% again! I still can't believe how much last week took out of me. I am grateful to be on this side of it all. You would think as much as I have expressed my hatred for grief that it would get the picture and just stay away. If only it were that easy. hehe
I have to say, though, that I haven't gotten to this point, today on my own. My friends and family have helped to pull me back up. And for that I am ever so grateful. To the ladies in my bible study, your stopping to listen and pray with me got me over the huge part of this hump. Being able to release all my emotions honestly with others and handing them all over to the Lord was quite freeing.
The patience from my amazing husband has not gone unnoticed, either. He has helped around the house, and let me just be emotional. I am so grateful for that. And to all the people who have asked, and really listened, wow it's great to be surrounded by such wonderful people. THANK YOU!
The only thing that I'm really having a hard time with right now is when people seem disappointed that I am not bubbling over with excitement. Really, folks, I understand that many can't (nor want to) understand the pain. And I really don't blame them, much. I just don't like feeling guilty, either. The hole that was left when we lost Lucas and Caleb is very much still there. I DO love my niece, Emily, bunches. And today I really started to miss her some. It just might take me awhile before I can be where I should have been last week.
Now for another picture of the girlie herself:
She does have tons of hair!!
I know exactly where you are coming from. One more thing that we've lost is the ability to just be purely happy when another baby is born As happy as we are, it makes our loss all the more real, it makes us see exactly what we have missed with our babies.
ReplyDeleteI'm getting much better with seeing my new nephew and just being happy around him, but I still have plenty of hard moments.
Emily is so adorable. I love all of her hair!