Five Years Part 1

Five years ago yesterday we found out we were having twins.  They were pretty sure they were identical, but they were growing well.  Our life was headed for a HUGE change.  I remember Willy and I asking the technician if she was joking.  We were shocked.  And I was really excited.  Everyone was. I still remember many details from that day. Riding home from the doctor, thinking how I was going to be a mom of twins.  I always wanted twins, not sure why, but I did.  I remember telling Dru at work and how excited she was.  IT was a huge birthday surprise! She told the entire dining center in one loud announcement.  There were phone calls and emails.  This was really going to happen.

Here's the first blog post when we announced here and began the journey.
http://earlstwins.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html
I was so excited to share with the world our experiences being pregnant and raising twins, along with two other boys.

And here I am five years later.  I still feel a sting when I wake up on February 18th.  I woke up in a bad mood yesterday, but couldn't place it until the afternoon. I know the next three and a half months are going to have some hard moments, days when the tears just flow.  I know by now to embrace those days for what they are. They are now moments when I can just stop and concentrate on the two little boys who aren't running around, adding to our wonderful chaos.

I miss them dearly.  I hate that there are days when I am just so busy with our four living sons, that they don't cross my mind except for a fleeting thought.  Their picture is by the bed, I say goodnight every night.  I packed most of their shelf away when we listed the house on the market.  I am so looking forward to putting it back up one day when we move.

Five years ago, it hadn't crossed my mind yet that this was the journey laid out for us.  There has been incredible heart-wrenching pain, but there has been indescribable joy also.  There were days when I didn't believe I would ever be happy again, and now most days I am blown away by happiness I feel.

The healing that has been brought is amazing.  I love that there are friends and family that continue to love, mention, remember, and embrace Lucas and Caleb.  There will always be a hole where they belong, but being surrounded by such amazing people softens the edges that were once very jagged.

How Fast Two Weeks Have Flown By

Wow! It seems like it was just a couple mornings ago we were headed in to finally have Benjamin. Instead, it's been two short weeks.  I've tried so hard to embrace each moment, for I know how fast it passes, and how quickly one forgets the little moments, the little noises, the tininess of a newborn's nose.  I often wish I could bottle the moments up.  Each time he smiles the split second before he falls asleep.  Each time Simon pats his back or kisses his forehead.

We're doing much better around here.  The boys are back at school, so we have a routine going.  Benjamin is sleeping through the night til 3:30 or so.  He'll eat and go right back to bed til 7:30.  I fell into the three hour schedule during the day subconsciously.  I've done it with the other three boys, and helped other moms with their babies.  It's become second nature.  And Benjamin has taken right to it.  I am ever so grateful.  And I find it much easier to function when I know what is coming next and when.

The big boys are doing well.  There are moments when I know they are taking advantage of my attention being so split, but for the most part they are falling back into routine.  There was even a moment tonight when all four boys were awake and happy.  Willy was doing some writing and I was finishing up some bible study questions. And it was relatively quiet.  I took a deep breath and just enjoyed the moment, grateful to finally have such a moment. It's all falling into place.

I have to say that the meals that friends have brought have made a big difference. So much goes on between three and five that the idea of dinner has been daunting.  Knowing that a warm meal was going to be served many nights without me having to plan or cook it has taken away some of the pressure.  I'm easing back into it, about every other night or so I'm taking care of dinner.  And I still have some meals in the freezer.  I am so grateful for those freezer bags full of meals I can just through in the crockpot in the morning and forget about.

Last week was also Thanksgiving and Ethan's SEVENTH birthday.  WOW! on that one also.  That kid is growing up so fast.  He is wanting to help me with nearly every meal in the kitchen.  If I'm in there cooking or baking, he is too. And I love it!  I love being able to share one of my favorite hobbies with him. It's time we have together, the two of us.  We're making memories that I know he'll hold close forever.

On to some pictures from the last week.

Wednesday morning snow surprise.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Grandma Dru and Grandpa Donica

Look at that hairline!

Oh my

Having a conversation with momma

Happy Birthday, Ethan!

Love how this cake turned out

He often looks like he is deep in thought.

Simon and I enjoying some tv time together. It seems like it's been so long since he's been able to sit on my lap and lean back like this.  I've missed this.

A Week With Benjamin

Wow!  I can't believe Benjamin has been here a week already.  This time goes by so incredibly fast.  I try to capture all the amazing moments, but I know many will fade in time.  We are finally beginning to settle in some.  It's been a tough transition.  Going from three to four boys in this house.  I am fairly confident that all the moms who have four plus children lied to me when they said two to three was the hardest, after that it was a piece of cake.  I think it's a ploy to convince other moms to join the four plus club.  The chaos that seems to set in in the afternoons and evenings can be overwhelming.  But, we're getting there.  Everyone is getting used to the new normal for our house.

About his first week.  Well, he didn't really sleep for the first three days.  Only at 20 minute intervals through the day and night.  The first 24 hours we had no access to a pacifier.  And this boy likes to have something in his mouth to fall asleep with.  He spits it out soon after falling asleep, but needs it to get there.  And I was informed at 2:30am that the hospital no longer has pacifiers as part of their "baby friendly" policy.  Google it, I did at 3:00am after cooling down a little from the frustration of not being able to settle my newest baby to sleep.

Anyway, it wasn't until my milk came in that Benjamin began to sleep better.  He would sleep for 20 or so minutes, wake up a little, cry (this boy screams more than cries), and settle back down for another 20 minutes after some rocking or patting.  The first two nights at home he "slept" in his swing next to my bed.  Anyone who knows me well, knows how desperate for sleep I had to be for that to happen.  Now he's sleeping in his bed, in his room, for 2-3 hours at a time at nights.  And what a difference those intervals of sleep make when it comes to the overall atmosphere of our home.

We went in for a weight check on Monday.  He was down to 8lbs1oz from 8lbs10oz at birth. But color looks great, he's nursing really well, and has plenty of wet and dirty diapers that they aren't concerned.  He goes back on the 8th for his two week check-up.

The boys are all enjoying  him.  The bigs love to hold him every chance they get.  Ethan is very helpful around the house and more aware of things in general.  Simon is always excited to see Benjamin (Benbaby).  He tries to play with him some, and loves to help to burp him.  

Today Colton had an orthodontist appointment and Willy had another appointment.  I had to take all four boys out by myself.  And we managed to arrive early.  Granted some of the early was due to me having the time wrong, but we made it early just the same.  And everyone was happy without any problems in the waiting room.  It took a little advance planning on my end. Like getting across the parking lot with all four boys without someone getting hit by a car.  But we succeeded.

Benjamin's personality so far seems to match from what I gathered while carrying him.  He is very unique from the other boys.  He's picky in how he's swaddled, he seems generally happy, but when he's upset, he's very upset.  He is such a joy, though.  I love how he looks at me and just seems to know it's all okay.  And makes me feel that it's all okay.

Here are some pictures from the week.  I'll post his birth story soon.  It was a great labor and short delivery.

34 Weeks and Catching Up

 

We've reached 34 weeks today!  Super crazy to think we are so close to meeting our newest lil boy.  Benjamin is by far the most active baby I've carried.  He moves for long periods of time, several times throughout the day and night. Yes, throughout the night.  I often lay awake, enjoying his acrobats for an hour so during the night.

 

I'm feeling pretty good most days.  It's usually not until the evening that the heartburn and soreness kicks in.  I'm tired much of the time. And with everything we have going on around here, my mind is mostly mush.  I really still enjoy being pregnant, but they are right when they say that each subsequent pregnancy is harder on your body, not mention it gets tougher as you get older.

 

We are making progress on Benjamin's room.  His name panels are almost finished.  We've put some stuff on the walls.  I haven't washed his clothes yet, but they are hanging in his closet.  I really need to sit down and make a few lists of things to pack for him and I.  I keep thinking about sitting down to do it, but then I get distracted. Hmmm...

 

Oh, and we took a trip to Labor and Delivery three weeks ago.  As I mentioned Benjamin likes to move a bunch.  Well, when he gets to moving for a couple hours at a time, I start to contract.  They are still Braxton Hicks contractions, but they get to be 3 minutes apart for several hours.  After a couple days of this off and on, we decided it was best to have all checked out.  Four hours in L&D, and it was decided he was going nowhere anytime soon. It doesn't happen as often now, but still every couple of days he gets a little crazy in there.

 



Here is a 34 week belly picture.  He's growing well in there, and is head down!



 

 

I say we've been busy.  We really have.  We are currently attempting the process of selling our house to an investor, who happens to own the house we want to buy.  There's a great lack of communication right now, so we're really just sitting around waiting for him to answer his phone.  But that is the plan.  And the hope is that we can move before Benjamin arrives. 

 

And Simon has decided he's ready to potty train.  I've never hidden the fact that I detest potty training, because I seriously do.  He seems to be really getting the hang of it, though.  This is not the time I would have chosen, but he was really having issues with dirty and wet diapers. 

 

Here are a bunch of fun pictures taken over the last month or so.  I thought this would be a quick way to catch up.

We hit up the corn maze yesterday.  This was Simon's first trip.  And it started with a two year old meltdown when he decided to run and hide in the corn.  After ten minutes or so of being taken out of the maze, we were able to enjoy it together.

Saturday evening we decided to head to a local park here to let the boys do some hiking.  Last time we were there, they wanted to, but Willy wasn't with us so they had to wait.

After hiking they had a bat flight viewing at the cave below these rocks.  This was so much fun.  The boys really had a great time watching all the bats. 

Piper is doing well here.  She's getting bigger, and still prefers me.  Most days I am very much in love with her.  Then there are days like today when she just has a hard time staying out of trouble.  But who couldn't love a cat this adorable?

Last week Ethan had a Clifford party at school. It was so much fun to spend an hour with just him in his classroom.

Aunt Jamie and Simon both celebrated birthdays the last week of September.  We decided to have a combined dinner for them. 

Daddy figured out how to put toys in balloons.

Ethan has been looking forward to this train show since May.  He has kept the flier in his room and has been watching the calendar.  The boy is seriously passionate about trains.  And I embrace it.  Reminds me of my grandpa.

We also had Benjamin's bear made. This bear has SEVEN hearts in it.  I love this tradition with our boys.  Each one has their special bear that everyone in the family at the time has put hearts in.  We've put hearts in for Lucas and Caleb in Simon's and Benjamin's.

 

 

Here is his finished bear.  I am so excited about the superhero theme!

 

 

Simon had a morning at the zoo with Willy and I for his birthday.  The boy is passionate about animals, and an hour at the zoo (there's not much there to spend more time), is his favorite outing.

Here's Simon finishing his birthday "doughnut."  Really it was a allergy free sugar cookie with allergy free icing.  He loved it!

 

I can't believe he is already two.  The time has gone by so fast, and we enjoy him so very much.  He adds an abundance of life and laughter to our family.  And I couldn't imagine not having him here.

He was worn out this day.  I embrace these moments, because they are so rare.

The three boys have enjoyed the cooler weather.  I think Ethan and Colton have finally "accepted" him as part of the tribe.  They play with him more, and let him join in on their fun more readily.  I love watching the three of them together.  And when they kiss and hug Simon good night, it just melts my heart.

 

Well, that kind of wraps up what we've been doing.  Time is ticking and Benjamin will be here soon.   I'm really enjoying this time with the boys before chaos returns, hopefully for not quite as long as when Simon was born.  

Benjmin-22 Weeks

22 Weeks, wow how they have passed by so quickly.  We've been so busy this summer, and now there are only FOUR weeks left.  I hate that I haven't posted here much.  I've wanted to, but finding the time has been difficult.  And with the computer upstairs now, it's just hard to steal away long enough to do it.  My hope is that along with some Scentsy business I need to be working on, I can also spend more time up here catching the blog up.

So, at 22 weeks I am feeling pretty good.  Benjamin has become incredibly active and strong.  I feel him often, and sometimes receive a pretty strong jab that makes me gasp out loud.  We haven't really prepared much for him, as we are really hoping to be in a new house sometime soon.  But I am more and  more excited everyday for this little boy to be a part of our family.

Speaking of little boy, boy number six.  I couldn't be any happier to be welcoming another baby boy.  I was caught off guard, kind of.  But I am truly a mom of boys. We decided to do a surprise gender reveal at our birthday bash this year.  And while I know it went off beautifully, I am pretty sure I wouldn't do it again.  I have some control issues, and being completely in the dark for nearly a week just about did me in.  Melanie was the friend who we chose to know and plan it.  And I couldn't have asked for any better. 

The night before I was crying and cranky and just flipping out a little.  I felt so sure Turkey was a girl, this pregnancy has been do different.  I knew it could be a little boy in there, but I was afraid of how I might react if so.  Try again, I was terrified.  75+  people were going to be watching my reaction, and I never in a million years wanted this baby to think I was disappointed.  I spent quite a bit of time praying for grace.  And God so gave me that grace.  There were no tears, and I really didn't feel let down at all. At the very last moment, I knew the balloons would be blue. And I truly felt good about it. 

We had our official anatomy scan on the July 3rd.  Benjamin looks perfect, absolutely perfect.  The sonographer really took her time, so we were able to really watch him as him moved around.  We were given several pictures and even a video of him flicking his finger at us.  Truly love him so very much!

So, here are some pictures from the past month or so to share.

 

 The only dress I can wear when pregnant.  Taken last Friday.

 

 Also taken on Friday

 

My view looking down on the Fourth of July.  Benjamin spent three days hanging out the left and my belly looked as though it pointed to the left.

 

 

Next post will hopefully be a ton of pictures from the birthday bash.