You Are Here

Baby Cinco,

After a very confusing week, I (or dollar store tests) have confirmed that you are here, inside me, and growing.  I am so excited, my heart almost leaps out of my chest at times.  I have a hard time really believing it here and there. 

One of three Dollar Store tests.  This was taken Jan 19 on Day 30, 13 Days DPO

The anxiety hasn't completely kicked in.  I  have moments where I fear you may not be with us for long.  It's so early and the 6 hours of bleeding on Tuesday weighs heavily at times.  I try to tell myself that I need to enjoy every moment of knowing  you are here.

You are such a loved and wanted baby. So many people have prayed for you and will continue to so.  I feel so blessed to have the amazing support I have surrounding me through all this.

The symptoms I am having at this time are:  My breasts are sore and almost hurt at times, I am crazy gassy at night, reflux is plaguing me in the evenings, and my sense of smell is off.

I will start weekly photos next week.  I  have a great idea (thank you pinterest) for these pictures.

Cautiously Optimistic,
Mommy

Well....

Today's test was negative.  I first felt defeated, then it was just swept away.  It is still pretty early to test, even with an early detection pee-stick.  I thought I would do some of my own research, and found that there really is no surprise that it tested negative.  With me ovulating on day 16 of my cycle, my testing this morning is, according to their standards, like testing 5 days before my expected period.  Well, wish I would have known that several hours ago. 

Anyway, I feel like I am still in the running for this month.  I feel good today about it all.  There is little anxiety, and I know that I can't control any of it.  So I'm just going to sit back, enjoy the next couple of days, and see what happens.  If not this month, then next.

Caving In

Baby Cinco,

I feel farely confident you are a ball of cells in there growing right about  now.  My breasts are tender and I just feel off.  My breasts never feel tender around my period, so I figure it has to be baby hormones.  I am hoping.  I had originally planned to wait until day 31 to test, as that is the longest cycle I've had in six months.  But I am anxious, as always, so I'll be testing tomorrow (day 26) with a First Response test.  If it's negative, then I'll be disappointed and ready to wait again for next month.

If it's positive (feeling pretty good about that) then I'll of course be ecstatic!  I am so ready for all this. 

I spent the day with grandma today while scrapbooking.  I think she knows something is up. She kept asking questions that easily could have led to us TTC and stuff.  I did quite well fending them off, but it was torture. I want to share the happiness of where we are with her so bad.  But that would ruin the surprise of her finding out.  I get that.

Well, I'll be back tomorrow either way.