I'm doing much better this week. I feel like all is falling back into place (it's new place), and I'm back on track. The weight I'd been carrying for a couple of weeks is gone now, and I can get back to being a mom and wife.
I've been super busy with Colton's school fall festival. I can't believe it's almost here. I was told yesterday that it was "my baby." How funny. I thought about that some. And there's some dark humor that is going to come out I am sure. But I really remember when this fall festival was just an idea. It was mentioned in passing during a phone conversation with M about becoming the events chair for the PTA. I thought, yeah it sounds like a good idea. I remember when deciding to have a baby was like that. Yeah, let's do it. Get pregnant, carry baby, deliver baby, go home.
When the school year started, we really began working hard to organize things. My ideas began to come to life as I made lists and prepared orders. I remember how I would make lists while preparing for Lucas and Caleb. Things we needed, who to invite to shower, meals to freeze, contacts for when they were born. With each list, their movements increased, and they were closer to be born, being in my arms.
Then orders were placed, and items started coming in, piling up in my dining room. We bought so much for them. And everything set up, clothes washed, and shoes organized. We had SO much stuff and were so ready for Lucas and Caleb.
Now it's a waiting game. Almost everything is done, we are just waiting for next Friday to arrive. I have watched this fall festival grow and become so real. We were just waiting for weeks to pass. Watching them and my belly grow, ready to meet them.
I have a small fear that we'll do all this work, and no one will come. I know this fear is probably unwarrented. I've prepared and expected before, only to be crushed. Fear and uncertainty is what I know now.
So here's to hoping it all goes well. That we have a great turn-out and everyone has a great time!