Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day

Dear Lucas and Caleb,

Happy Valentine's Day sweet baby boys.  Two years ago today I got my first peek at one of you in the emergency room.  One of you was hiding from the ER Doctor.  And two years ago today I spent the last moments with my grandpa before he passed a few weeks later.  Today kind of holds some heavy emotions.  I sure miss the three of you.

I get to see your little brother or sister tomorrow.  I hope.  I am terrified that we will see nothing.  I know it is so likely that we'll see a tiny heartbeat and tiny baby, but I know reality, and it scares me.

Daddy is cooking our traditional Valentine's dinner right now.  Linguine with clam sauce.  He made this for me on our second date, and I LOVED it!!  We sat on the floor of his little apartment and ate.  He didn't have a table at the time.  I remember we had milk to drink, and I laughed at how he made the garlic bread.  Every year now he makes this dinner after the boy go to bed and we eat it together.  He also bought me my gold dipped rose again.  It is white.  It reminds me of the two of you.

I miss you babies!  I sat in the same classroom for Ethan's party today that I sat in when I was pregnant with you and at Colton's party.  It was hard as I thought about it.  But it was also peaceful, remembering the happiness and excitement I felt at that time.

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