I am doing a scrapbooking bible study for the next seven weeks with Kristan. YAY, what fun! For the past couple of days I have been thinking about how I would introduce myself. It is all women, we all have children, but how would I explain my children. I've really come to the "need to know" basis when it comes to Lucas and Caleb. I don't want the first thing out of my mouth to be "dead babies", and I don't want to be , "That girl over there..." So I had decided I would introduce them to these women in a few weeks when it came up in our bible study conversation. (They always come up when it comes to my faith.)
Well, the plan changed, BIG TIME!! We were sitting around waiting for one more mom to show up. Our cooridinator explained that this mom was running late, and that her plate was really full. Her husband works out of town, she has two under three, and is expecting twins. Brick Wall!! Kristan quickly looked at me and asked if I would be okay. I took a deep breath, said I could handle it, or we would see. Well, my never missed friend, anxiety, hit as it was my turn to introduce myself. I started crying as soon as it was my turn. I couldn't say anything except I'm sorry. Kristan took over for me. I have to say, friends like her are incredibly rare. She always knows where I am and how to help. She starts with, "Carrie is a mom of four." Those words mean so very much to me. By the time she finished my introduction, a few others were crying and there was a hug and my waterproof mascera once again proved itself.
Well, the mom walked in, looking tiny. I figured her to be 6-10 weeks. As she is introducing herself, I find out she's having twin boys. Really? Lord, what's your plan here? Pretty sure it's not the same as mine. There are EIGHT women in this study. Three are pregnant and one with twin boys. Hmmmm.....
As we sat afterwards, visiting, I couldn't help but overhear parts of her conversation with another expecting mom. They were discussing how different her twin pregnancy is from her previous single pregnancies. She also talked about all the ultrasouds, and how she really didn't understand the reason for them. It took quite a bit of strength to not say anything to her. (By the way she is probably closer to 18-22 weeks) I know that I wasn't completely educated, but I did TONS of research on twin pregnancies. Anyway, I quickly moved my attention to the conversation about c-sections.
On the way home, I let go of it all. I had a good, hard cry. Lots of questions about why now, when things are going so well. Lots of why me, because that is usually one of the first questions I ask when things hit hard. And then the song, "All Who are Thirsty" came on the radio, and the crying stopped. I must say Thank you.
So, I get home, rotate laundry, and receive a call from a friend who normally is at work on Mondays. She took the day off since her husband was sick. She wanted to meet us at the park for a picnic with our kiddos. Fabulous idea! She gets me, also. We have an unspoken bond (seriously unspoken), and she is also wonderful. We met, our kids played, and we decided to walk around the lake some. We came to the bridge over the creek and look who greeted me.
They are always here when I need them the most.