Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Happy Moments

I am happy! Genuinely happy! I feel great and right. I never in my dreams thought I could ever feel this good again. And I love it. I still have hard moments here and there, but I feel refreshed and just plain good. I even have added a new blog list to the page. It is a list of happiness, stories of rainbow babies on their way or already here. Stories that can give many of us so much hope for things to come. It is to the left, if you are interested and ever need a little extra inspiration.

As many of you know, this time of year can be daunting. In June, I was so worried how Christmas was going to work. This is my absolute favorite time of year. I am a total Christmas nut! And I know if it weren't for Colton and Ethan, it would be canceled this year. The season started out rocky, but now I am fully embracing this, feeling the holiday cheer, and filled with the warmth of it all! So to feel this good, is very much welcome, and such a gift!

In celebrating how great I am feeling, here are some pictures of me having great moments over the last six months. Genuine smiles, genuine fun! Proof that we can laugh again, and smile again. If you are reading this and new to the community, I truly hope you can find inspiration in these pictures.

This was taken after a friends wedding in July. I was laughing so hard and so afraid that Ethan was going to push me into the pond.

This was our first trip to the park in August. I was finally out of the dense fog and learning to truly enjoy the two boys I have here on Earth. Embracing my inner child is a new thing for me. And I am loving it!

This is the camping trip we took on my birthday/36 week mark. This weekend could have been such a disaster, but my friends and family helped me so much! If you look closely, there is a dragonfly on my toe.

My high school reunion. Although many of those moments were enhanced by a glass or two (or three) of wine, it was true fun and I am so grateful I was able to be there. And that Michelle was by my side the entire night.

I love her! She made high school bearable, and I hate that we lost touch for quite some time. But when we reunited, it was like we just picked up where we left off. And now she has found her Willy (actually Craig) and I couldn't be happier for her.

A group shot of friends. Here's some random thoughts:
Jamie-I remember when we were like 9 or so and walk around Southwinds and talk forever
Amanda-I remember sledding down your icy driveway when we were 11.
Michelle-One of my favorite memories is when we were driving back from the mall and were passing the "Elk forest" and started freaking out thinking about "The Blair Witch Project." That was HILARIOUS!!!!!
And all of you were so kind to mention my Lucas and Caleb that night. It melts my heart.

My scrapbooking group. I love these ladies so much. They were all there during all the times, good and bad. The love and compassion this group has blows me away. This was Barb's 70th birthday, a total hoot!

September fun with Colton and Ethan! I love this school playground!

The leaf fight we had one day. This was the best I had felt since the twins were born. The first day I felt total freedom from the weight of grief.

Ethan's birthday party last month. The first time I was in a mixed group of people without really feeling an social anxiety! Whoo Hoo!

The first snowfall. The first family holiday without Lucas and Caleb. And it snowed. I felt them all around me. And it was a great day!

Ethan's birthday. Lovin' the hat and Willy being goofy!

A friend took this at school Carter's birthday party last weekend. Truly a great picture of me. I am holding Miss Morgan. (That's her daddy behind me). She is truly precious and holding her truly warms my heart. Her big sister, Riley, is pretty awesome, too!

I know many of these have been posted before, but I wanted them all in one post, together. I truly love where I am at right now, and if this is the best that it gets (I am sure it gets better) that is alright with me.

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  1. You look great, and I am so happy to see you smiling in many of these pictures. I think of you all the time (even though I am TERRIBLE about calling), just know that you are loved each and every day all the way from Oregon!

  2. You look beautiful! LOVE the pictures and all the smiles ♥ ((hugs))

  3. I am so, so happy for you! You have been down such a rough road and totally deserve all this happiness and more. I'm sure that Caleb and Lucas are smiling and happy that you are doing so well.

    I love the new addition to your blog too. What a wonderful idea.

  4. I remember that too! So glad you are happy and enjoying the holidays. :)

  5. What an inspirational post! I am so happy for you. Your journey has no doubt been a hard one. You are an incredibly strong and loving woman. I love the pictures that you included. Your smile is so bright, and I am glad you are finding so many moments to smile about. You have a beautiful family, and I know Caleb and Lucas are always near. Sending you hugs and love! <3 <3 <3


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