Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Not sure yet

I'm not sure if I am truly ready for this. I have thought and pondered over the last several months. And I've prayed about it.

Every spring my MOPS group has Tea and Testimony. We all sit together, drinking tea while three of us share our testimony with the group. And I've committed to sharing mine. Seven weeks before Lucas and Caleb's first birthday. I am sharing a testimony that I am sure wouldn't exist if they were here, crawling around.

I am nervous and anxious about this. Since my testimony really is about their story, I am also sharing their story. Although many of these moms know at least a part of their story, I am not sure if I am ready to really share it. Their story has become sacred to me, something that I must protect. Their lives were so precious and their memory special.

I write this asking for prayers and thoughts over the next couple days as I prepare in detail what I am going to share. I've outlined a couple times over the past couple of weeks, but it's time to really get down to the nitty gritty of it all. It seems like everything is going in circles and I am looking for a straight(er) path. I want it to all make sense and be coherent. And I want to find the right combination of sharing the two intertwining journeys, the one of faith and the one of grief.

Thank you much!

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P.S. Oh and also that I don't go on forever, but keep it 15-20 minutes or so. Because we all know how much I like to talk. hehe


  1. Praying Carrie! God will use you, no matter how much or how little you share. Let Him be the guide to your decision and he will Honor you.

  2. Thinking of you and praying for you! I know it will be hard, and I know we feel a need to protect our babies. You are strong and amazing!


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