Monster Trucks!!

This weekend was BUSY!!! As in I spent more time away than I did at home from Friday on.  But we made sure to make time for some family fun.  Willy and I really wanted to do something special with the boys before Simon arrives.  When we heard about the Monster Truck Nationals  about an hour's drive away, we thought, "Perfect!"

On Saturday evening, we headed out to Wheatland to Lucas Oil Speedway.  It was 102 degrees out, but luckily we found seats in the shade, and there was a really nice breeze.  Dru sent me with two square pieces of foam to use for the bleachers.  Thank you so much! 



The Speedway sign.  The boys were incredibly excited!!

Willy and the boys, waiting for the action to start.

The boys and I.  And Simon poking out there in the middle.  We finally have Colton out of the "every picture is a goofy pictures" stage, and now Ethan has decided it's his turn.  Personality!

The look of awe!

What Ethan was in awe about.   Might not be letting the kiddos ride their bikes for awhile.  I can definitely see my boys getting a little more brave.  They LOVED this!!  And the back flip that this guy did the next time through.

YAY for girl power! The driver is a woman, and the rookie of the year!!  

No intermission is complete without t-shirt cannons!  I cannot describe how my heart leaped out of my chest when Colton thought one was getting close and he would lean towards it.  Or how it felt when I thought a few teenage boys might jump on top of me to catch one.  We didn't come home with a t-shirt, but the boys had monster trucks waiting in their carseats when we were back in the van.

We really had a great time!  Watching Colton and Ethan get excited over the different tricks and smashing of cars was just amazing.  Willy and I laughed so hard, and the boys will remember this for quite some time!  They are both talking about it still to anyone who will listen. 




P.S. A little side not, this event put my camera over 10,000 pictures!  That's alot of pictures taken in not even three years.

31 weeks (+2)

Down to single digit weeks left!  Love it!

Baby's Length: 16-17 inches 3 lbs or so

Weight Gain: Down a pound! Whoo hoo!  Puts me at 24 lbs up

Innie or Outie: Flat for the most part

Symptoms:  My hips and back are beginning to hurt more often.  I am also having Braxton Hicks contractions on a daily basis.  And the area under my breasts where my bra lies has begun to go numb.  This has happened with every pregnancy and feeling returns as soon as baby is born.

How I feel: Hanging in there this week.  But excited to at 31 weeks.

Best part of last week: Learning I lost 1 pound.  The 17 pounds in 8 weeks was weighing on me a bit.  Not that I am trying to lose weight, just not put on a ton more.

Looking forward to: The final stretch.  I am so excited about getting everything ready for Simon to come home in two months.

I am fighting off a sinus infection.  31 weeks pregnant, plus 100+ degree weather, and not feeling well does not make for a cheery momma.  I have slept so much this week, and I feel like I am winning the battle.  But my energy level is barely registering most days.  I finally was able to get most of the house caught up this morning, after taking some Claritin last night. 

My appointment last week went really well.  My glucose levels were perfect, and I am measuring right on track.  Dr. L. tried to feel if Simon was head down and said, "He's just too small to tell yet.  Maybe at the next appointment."  Too small???  Heck yeah, I'll take that.  At 20 weeks he was looking to be a chunk, so I'll take a smaller baby (6.8lbs would be nice).  She gave me the information for the epidural interview, and I go back in 2 weeks. 

Simon moves alot right now.  I am pretty sure he is trying to find a comfortable position in there but can't quite.  Some of his movements are beginning to hurt, and last night they brought on a few Braxton Hicks contractions.  I am feeling the difference between head/butt and legs/arms.  I love all the extra movement. It is so much fun to watch my belly move around so crazy.  I am trying to remember to keep the camera close so I can get a good video of it. 

I am starting my lists for packing for the hospital.  I usually start getting it all packed around 35 weeks, but it takes a few weeks to make the lists.  There are times when I can't believe we are at this point.  I also have a list of things for "just in case."  I know it sounds horrible, but it's my reality now.  There are things I want to make sure we have pictures of him with.  There aren't many moments anymore when I fear the worst.  But the fears are still there. 

Oh, and the invitations for our Baby Shower are finished!  Tina is a true creative rockstar!  I will post a picture as it gets closer, but know that it is AMAZING!!  She knows my heart.  They'll go out in a few weeks.  I wanted to have the shower as late in this pregnancy as I could get away with.  Since my water broke with the twins on the day the invitations went out, I wanted to make sure that if it happened again (I know most likely not, but my reality), that things would have a much better chance at good outcome.

Well, not a lot of pictures from this last week.  Hope everyone else is hanging in there through this horrible, dry heat.

31 weeks

30 weeks (and 2 days)

30 weeks!!  I am truly grateful to make it this far.  In less than 10 weeks we will get to meet, hold, snuggle, and love on our newest little man. 

Size: 16-17 inches.  2.5-3 lbs  Most of his growth this week was in the little brain of his.  His cheeks are fattening out and his brain is wrinkling up.  Way to go!

Weight Gain: I am down .5 lbs.  I can handle that.  Although my goal isn't to lose weight, it is nice to not be gaining the 1.5+ lbs a week.

Innie or Outie: Let's go with island.  hehe  The middle is out, looks kind of cool.

Symptoms:  The Sciatia is beginning to start up.  If I roll over, it usually goes away.  The heartburn and reflux continues to get worse.  Just smelling tomatoes brings on the heartburn.  Seriously.  Tums are my closest buddy right now.  Might break down and take a Zantac before eating something that is really going to make me pay.  I am sure one a week or so would be okay. 

Cravings: Still on the sweet then salty stuff.

Best Part of Last Week:  Saturday when it was breezy and 74 out ALL day long!  And Sunday when Simon moved the entire day.

Looking forward to: My appointment on Monday.


This past week has gone by pretty quickly.  It was the best week I've had in a month or so. I was out and about three days in a row.  It felt great to be part of the living again.  This heat has really kept me inside too much.

Simon must be running out of room in my belly.  His movements have changed so much.  The jabs and such feel like they are coming from tiny hands and feet.  His other movements are slow and huge.  He seems to be settling in the past couple of days, as he doesn't seem as active.  But he's still passing the kick counts. 

I also was able to finish the name panels for Simon's room.  I am super excited about them being done and will post a picture once they are hung on the wall.  I also finally ordered the onesie stickers for him.  I found these on Etsy and are designed by MaddiesmomE.  I was so excited to find ones that would be personalized with Simon's name on them.  When they came in yesterday, I just cried.  Seeing his name on these really hit home. 

Here is a picture of the fabulous cupcake I bought to celebrate the passing on my glucose test.  I somehow forgot to post it last week.  It was so very yummy!!

 The 30 week picture. There is still some noticeable growth....and I am feeling some stretching pains.  I am pretty sure Simon has turned head down.  I feel his head pretty low here and there.  And he still likes to snuggle his bum up in my lungs.

Willy's mom has been redecorating her house the past couple of weeks.  She came across this frame and the pillow and just had to get them for Simon's room.  The colors are perfect!!  Thank you, thank you, Dru!!

Ethan insists this pillow has to be in Simon's bed.  I keep trying to explain to him that we will have to move it when he is sleeping in there.

I woke up at 7:00 am Saturday morning to 69 degree weather.  I grabbed my Kindle Fire and a cup of coffee, headed out to the backyard, and read for an hour and a half.  I made the boys come out for a little while, as it was too nice out to be inside.  After breakfast, we decided to head to the Nature Center.  I love this place.  I love being this close to nature.  We hiked 2 miles through the trails.  It felt so wonderful to be active and enjoying the time with my family.  I am really looking forward to bringing Simon out there.

After the Nature Center, we took the boys back to Springfield Lake to do some fishing.  The lake is much lower now than it was last month, but they still had fun.  And it was more enjoyable being 30 degrees cooler out.  Ethan caught the one and only fish.  Boy was he proud of it!

The boys have been back in VBS this week.  It's the last one for the summer.  School starts four weeks from yesterday, so we'll be wrapping up summer fun.  I can't believe it's already time for school shopping.  Not to mention the PTA membership drive that is starting up soon.  These next 5 weeks or so are going to be incredibly busy, and I am ready for it!  The time is going to really start to pass quickly, and I know that soon I'll be holding my baby boy.

29 weeks (and 2 days)

Wow, almost to 30 weeks.  So close to single digit weeks left.  I am really starting to feel some urgency in getting things ready for our newest little man.

Size: 16-17 inches and 2.5-3 lbs.  That's beginning to be a whole lot of baby!

Weight Gain: 25 lbs.  May have lost a pound or so in the past several days.

Innie or Outie: Closer and closer to flattie.

Cravings:  Salty and Sweet things.  Actually the sweet stuff first, then the salty stuff to make the too much sweetness go away.  Kind of hard to explain.

Symptoms: My knees and ankles are getting sharp pains in them at night.  And my hips are really beginning to hurt.  The heartburn has stayed pretty consistent, though it has been starting earlier in the evening. Bummer.

Best Part of Last Week:  Ethan and Simon playing with monster trucks

What I am Looking forward to: Finishing up Simon's name for his wall.



Ethan has really bonded with Simon this week.  I am not sure what clicked in that little guy's head, but I am very much loving it!  This weekend, Ethan was rolling a monster truck up and down my belly. (It has become a playground, apparently)  Ethan would stop the truck on the top of my belly, and Simon would kick it, making it roll back down.  Ethan would laugh and try it again.  It was so much fun to watch. 

Since then, Ethan has talked to him every night before bed.  Their conversations vary greatly, but it just really warms my heart.  The other night Ethan announced that he would be moving away when he is grown up.  He said that he will stay with us because he loves Baby Simon that much.  Then a few minutes later while we were watching a show about alligators, Ethan leaned over to Baby Simon, patted my belly and said, " It's okay Baby Simon, I know you're scared, but I am your big brother and will protect you."  This kid melts my heart completely. 

I truly pray that Baby Simon makes it here alive and healthy.  I really don't know how I could break Ethan's heart at this point.  And that fear resides inside of me.  Some days it's not as close to the surface as others.  I feel more at ease as each day passes, though.

My doctor's appointment went very well last week.  We are now on the two week rotation, which was celebrated by W and Dr. L.  Such a great point to make it to.  We also talked a little more about the VBAC and some of the plans.  She did say that we'll take him by c-section if he's not here on his due date.  What a relief to know that she won't be encouraging me to wait it out an extra week. 

That night I went to our local MEND meeting.  I really enjoy these meetings. I avoided them the first 4 months of this pregnancy.  I just wasn't emotionally in a place where I could handle the sadness of the reality.  It's kind of weird to be there at this point, though.  I love having the time to really be able to think about Lucas and Caleb and talk about them.  It is my time that is about them. I get to share about them, their lives, without others around me thinking I should really be concentrating on Simon.  It was a good meeting with some really heavy moments.  But Simon made himself known quite a bit through the meeting.  I really hoped that his movements weren't as noticeable to others around me as they were to me.  It helps that there were two other moms there who are expecting rainbow babies.

The boys are in VBS this week at University Heights Baptist Church.  Colton went last year and thoroughly enjoyed it.  This one holds a special place for me and this pregnancy.  Last year when Colton was going, I was doing a summer bible study.  One of the women in the bible study was very (36 weeks or so ) pregnant.  Her daughter was also attending VBS at UHBC.  I would see her walk in, very pregnant and happy, and I would think how I would really love to in that spot.  I am this year, and it's just so wonderful!

I also spent the day today shopping for more decorations for Simon's room.  I really found some great stuff here and there and can't wait to get it all together and up on the walls.  Mardels has some great owl stuff back in the teacher supplies section.  I am grateful Willy thought to look there a few weeks ago. 

I finished my Army Wives marathon last week.  I watched all the episodes over the past few months.  It's a tough one to watch, especially having lost babies.  There are lots of stories of loss, and there are episodes when the tears won't stop falling.  I have decided to start watching Grey's Anatomy.  I have seen a handful of episodes.  I figure as long as it is hot out, I might as well get some great tv in...thank you Netflix.  I am currently looking for a half hour show on there to watch once Simon arrives.  I figure him and I will spend quite a few 23 minute sessions together on the couch those first couple of months.

29 weeks

Snickers taking a break and loving on Simon.  Simon doesn't kick him as much anymore, and when he does, Snickers doesn't seem to mind. Guess they are beginning to get used to each other.

I bought 1 package of cookies Saturday evening and they were pretty much gone by Sunday morning.  My dad came down to visit and he is our family cookie monster.  Haha, Dad!  Willy and I ate some too, so I'm not saying my dad ate them all.  Anyway, Willy went out to pick up some bacon at 8:30 Sunday night and bought me some more cookies.  Willy bought the bacon for the BLT's I was very suddenly craving.  I was informed it was my craving run for the week.  Love him!!

The top three packages are for me, and the bottom one is for Willy. He said he bought those for himself to help him stay of the ones he bought for me.  He acts like I don't share well.

My wonderful husband in my apron getting ready to fry the bacon.  You have to love a man who brings home the bacon and cooks it too!!  And only a real man can wear an apron with heels and ruffles on it!

My diapers from Cowpatties.  I love them!!  Ethan is super stoked about the Superhero Squad one.

The completed collection (for now).  I feel ready to get started with cloth diapering and am pretty excited about it.

Ethan made this for Baby Simon in VBS today.  He proudly announced to everyone within earshot that he made something for everyone in our family, even Baby Simon.

Pretty sure Simon hit a growth spurt overnight.  I woke up and was shocked when I looked in the mirror. 

Wow,  I hope you've made it to the end of this novel!!

Until next week!

28 Weeks...7 Months....3rd Trimester

What exciting numbers!!!  This feels like such a HUGE milestone, and I am just elated!  28 weeks.  WOW!  I  have taken a moment several times to just enjoy this.  I woke up this morning and my first thought was, "We've made it!"

Baby size: 14.8 inches and 2.5 lbs

Weight: 20 or so pounds

Size around: 46.5 inches this morning.  This is the first time I have measured and I am bigger around than Willy. 

Innie or Outie:  Closer to a flattie

Symptoms: Heartburn is kicking it up a notch.  And my energy level is decreasing.  My emotions are all over the place at times.

Cravings: Definitely not ice cream.  It makes me so sick the next day that I just really don't want it much anymore.  Bummer there.  Could go for some Mexican food, though.

Best Part of Last Week: Fireworks in Republic.

Looking Forward To:  My appointment on Thursday.  It's my last 4-week appointment, and that makes it all feel a little more closer.  Kind of surreal, really.

I really feel great today!  I feel like I am up in the clouds floating around somewhere.  Simon is active with poking and hiccups.  The little guy is becoming touchy also.  He hates any kind of waistband what-so-ever, and plays with them when he feels them.  And I really enjoy watching my belly move around.  I don't remember this much movement from any of my boys before. 

I am trying to pick my activity level up a bit.  I did little last week due to the heat, and fear the scale may tell that tale Thursday.  Plus I know that being in decent shape really helps with labor and delivery. We walked a mile last night and I was feeling it a little.  Hopefully this heat will break soon and we can out more.

I had my first true account of the pregnancy crazies last night.  You know the ones where tears fall for petty reasons, and there is just no control to them.  I know they weren't grief related tears, just hormone craziness.  I am grateful for a husband who has been through four pregnancies now with me.  Willy truly is patient and does whatever he can to make it better.  I love him so much!

Here is the 28 week belly shot.  Tried to make a collage, but picasa and I aren't getting along.  Definitely feeling larger this week!

Willy is getting excited for Simon to get here.  He hung these puzzles up in his room, even though they aren't going to match the chosen decor.  I am sure we'll find a great place for them.

Simon's first pair of babylegs came in over the weekend! So getting ready for football season!

A random picture of his growing shoe collection. 

Our pre-fold collection is complete.  Thanks to a great friend who had TONS of Chinese pre-folds for 50 cents a piece!

And here are the Thirsties (and one random) diaper I got from her.  $30 for all! What a great deal!!

I think Simon is doing well in the newborn sleeper department.   I am starting to get his clothes sorted and such.  Just a little excited.

Well, I hope everyone (in the U.S.) has a great July 4th!  Please be safe, and for my expecting friends, stay cool!

Moments to Bottle

25 month ago, I thought I would never see happiness again.  I had lost two precious little boys, and the fog of grief was so thick.  And last year, this time I was a month out from their last birthday, with full swing baby fever.  This year we are two years out from losing Lucas and Caleb, and we are expecting our little Simon in 12 weeks.  How amazing to really look back and be able to see things progress.

Since July 2010, our family has driven to Republic for the Have A Blast firework display.  I remember each evening still so vividly.  How that first year, all I could really think about was how pregnant I was not.  I was just beginning to truly find my path through the grief.  I was still a shell of my old self, not really present.

Last year was much better. Here is the post about that night.  We had a really good time.  I was fully there, and I have to admit that I kept thinking how nice it would be to have a baby with us the following year.

This year, Simon is on his way.  Willy and I joked about how he would respond to the loud booms of the fireworks.  Then Willy talked about pushing his stroller up the hill.  I could picture it, picture him next to me in his stroller, probably asleep.  Tears came to my eyes, the happy ones.  I thought about how far we have come.  And the happiness we feel.  I wanted to bottle up that feeling of happiness, that moment of bliss to keep forever.

Here are a few pictures from Friday night.  It was hot...98 degrees, so the we aren't the most photogenic here.

The group minus Ethan.  Not sure where he was.

Thank you Betty for pointing out that Ethan is sitting right in front of me.  Oh we are in so much trouble.

YAY for pregnant me!  Though this chair makes me look heavy and not so pregnant.  And of course Miss Morgan and her beautiful curls.

Beautiful fireworks!

The kiddos watching the show. Ethan was crazy loud with each boom.  And Simon slept through the WHOLE show!!

On Saturday, the boys and Willy spent the morning outside.  My grass was finally mowed, and the boys were able to burn some energy.  Around noon the four of us gathered in the pool for some cooling off time.  I love our pool.  It is a great size and really the perfect temperature thanks to the shade that hits it during the right times of day.

The boys were playing Marco Polo with Willy. Only instead of saying "polo" they had to be as quiet as possible.  As I sat there listening to Ethan's quiet, I just couldn't help but feel that calm, yet giddy, happiness again.  I wished for the second time in 24 hours that I could bottle up that moment.  We have come so very far in 25 months.  And although there are still moments, even days that turn my world upside down, I know now that it can be turned right side up.

**And as I sit here, typing this, thinking about my sweet precious boys and how much they have taught me, I am watching 20+ dragonflies fly around outside.  They are everywhere around the front, side, and backyards. **