Sunday, October 3, 2010

4 Months and an Act of Great Kindness

Dear Lucas and Caleb,

Well, babies, in true mommy style I didn't get all the memorials of your names together for this post. But I will, I promise.

I can't believe it has been four months since we said good-bye to you. This past month has been a tough one. Your due date was on the 17th and it hit with a vengeance. The two weeks leading up to it was almost as tough as the two week after your birth. Really tough. I cried more than I had in months, and harder I must add. I have not only been reminded of losing you, but how things were supposed to be right now. We miss you every single day, babies.

But, instead of going on and on about how hard and sad this month was, I wanted to share with you something a good friend of mommy's did for us. His name is Chad and I have known him since high school. He has been travelling through Australia this year. A month or so ago I contacted him and asked if he was headed to Mullaloo beach. As many of my BLM friends know, this beach is special. It is where Carly ( the names of angels at sunset and takes beautiful pictures. After your names were written, I felt this incredible need for some sand from here.

I asked Chad that if he were to be close, if he could bottle some up for me to keep with you on your shelf. He wrote back with his apologies for our loss and said he wasn't going to make it over there during this trip. But that he had a friend who would and that she would get some sand, get it to him, and he would get it to me. Well, imagine my surprise when I saw pictures of Chad gathering sand on Mulallo Beach this morning. I cried happy tears that I thought I could never cry again.

The two of you have touched so many hearts. Lucas and Caleb, you to are so special and loved. I feel lucky to be your mommy and to have known you as much as I did. And even though there are times when I feel cheated in losing you, I also feel honored for being chosen to be your mommy and to be able to share you and the impacts you make in this world. We love you two so much!

Love, Mommy

Here are the pictures from the beach.

Thank you with all my heart, Chad!


  1. That is so nice of Chad! It will be so nice to have sand from that beach. I really liked seeing the pictures of the beach as I can now picture where Jacob's name has been written too.

  2. What a wonderful friend you have! That is so amazing of Chad to go to the beach for you. I love the pictures that he took and the special writings that he did. Beautiful!


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