Monday, March 5, 2012

10 Weeks, Baby!!

Baby Size: Just over an  inch (size of kumquat?)

Weight Gain: 2.5 lbs.

How I feel: About the same as last week.  The heartburn and reflux is beginning to kick in. 

Symptoms: No new ones other than heartburn and reflux.  Nothing has disappeared.

Favorite Food: Carrots and French Onion Dip, Salted Pretzels

Best part of last week: Hearing Cinco's heartbeat three times, and it being louder each time, for longer periods of time.  Love, love, love that sound!!

Looking forward to: Shopping for more maternity shirts since my non-maternity ones aren't really working at all.

I'm not doing as well writing on here as I would like.  There are so many things happening and I need to be better about sharing.  My goal for this next week is 3 posts here and 1 on the Among the Circle site.  I know I can do it!! 

I love being at 10 weeks.  It seems so much closer to 13 weeks....double digits, yay!!  I am so ready to reach that milestone.  I have had some more blissful moments this week.  Just some pure joy for this baby.  I am feeling more positive about things, though the fear creeps in once in awhile.  I am sure it will until Cinco is safe, alive, and snuggling in my arms in September. 

Next week I'll start posting some belly pictures....maybe later this week.  We've taken a few, just haven't loaded them off my camera yet.  But baby is definitely growing in there.  I have small regrets that I got rid of many of my older clothes when I lost all the weight.  Some of those shirts could definitely come in handy right about now.  I am planning on buying a few shirts later this week at a couple sales.
Yesterday I had a visit with grief at church.  The worship team sang Chris Tomlin's Amazing Grace and the tears just poured.  I sat in the back and looked at the row of chairs I sat in 21 months ago.  When Carmen and Kristie sang the most beauiful Amazing Grace, and Willy and sat there holding each other grieving for our sweet boys.  I can hear that song anywhere and I enjoy it.  But I hear it in church, even the new version, and my heart just breaks all over again.  The pain will always be there, and as much hope and healing that Cinco will bring, the yearning for my Lucas and Caleb will never go away.  I know this, and am at peace with it.  I just hope that others will respect it also.

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