Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Changing of the Seasons

Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope's monthly topic is how the changing of the seasons has effected our grief journey. I've thought on this quite a bit, and might ramble some, but here it goes.

I am thrilled for fall to FINALLY be here! The summer started with the twins being born and dying. Going into the summer (May-ish) we all talked about how hot and miserable I would be throughout. We joked about getting an window unit and closing me into the living room, making me a personal igloo. It was SO much fun joking about it and waiting for it all.

Instead the summer was comfortable instead of unbearably hot for me. I was able to do things with my family that I shouldn't have been able to. And I missed what should have been all the way.

The coming of fall was hard also. Lucas and Caleb should have been born the end of August. I should have been struggling to get them in their double stroller and Ethan unbuckled and Colton into school three mornings a week. And I should have been hearing oohs and ahhs, not "I'm so sorry." I should have been wondering when I would be capable to juggle everyone so I could go to MOPS meetings, not crying hysterically at the first meeting that I was able to help plan and set-up. And when the summer births were announced, their birth announcement shouldn't have been followed by their death announcement.

But, the changing of seasons also brings a new beginning. In a few months we are looking at Operation CA. Right now we are trying to sell our house. And let's not forget the greatness of fall decorations and Halloween decorations! I LOVE this time of year, next to winter, probably because it precedes winter. I know there will be some hard moments, but I honestly believe the worst left with summer. The worst summer of our lives has come and gone, and I truly hope the fall brings much better things for us.

Oh and I updated the picture of the day. I know, I keep getting behind.


  1. I am sending you prayers and well wishes for new beginnings. <3 Now that the difficult (terrible, painful, heartbreaking) summer has passed, I hope that our autumns will bring moments of happiness. I love this time of year and am trying to enjoy it despite missing my baby like crazy. Sending you hugs!

  2. Hugs and love to you. Praying for new beginnings and God's grace in your life. I will call you soon. I am sorry I did not get back to you. Things have been crazy. I have time soon though. I hope and pray you are well.

  3. I'm glad this summer is behind us too. It has to be the worst one that we will ever have and I'm so glad it is done.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...