Dear Lucas and Caleb,
Today is more like, "It's only been 9 months." instead of , "I can't believe it's already been 9 months." Several times last night and today I have thought it's been 10 months. I guess I'm feeling distant from the two of you. Not really sure what is bringing the change, and I really don't know how I feel about it.
Colton woke up this morning wanting to talk about the two of you. Of course we talked, and I cried. He knows the 1st of every month. Your brother is very insightful, and he almost always knows my heart. Ethan just sits and kind of listens when we talk about you. Both boys play with your monkeys often. It really warms my heart to see their love for you. Only wish it were you physically.
This month has been a roller coaster. Lots of ups and downs. I feel frustrated with it at times. I seem very suseptible to cloudy days. And we've had a number of them lately.
There's not a whole lot more to say today. I am missing you very much. I am ready to go back to more good days than bad. But I fear it may be like this until your birthday.
We love you so much, my babies.