Hello

Baby Cinco,
So, I have to write somewhere...and I really hope that I can figure out how to import all these posts into our family blog when we announce to the world we are expecting you.  As of now, I don't know if you are currently forming inside of me, but I truly feel the need to write to you. 

A few weeks ago, your daddy and I talked and agreed we would begin trying to conceive.  This was HUGE!!!!  I've wanted this for so long and there were truly times when I didn't believe it was going to happen.  The excitement I feel on a daily basis is impossible to describe.

Now, 7 days into the 2 week wait, my mind often wonders to you.  Are you in there, growing every day?  In a few weeks will I get to hear your heartbeat for the first time?  Or will it be a few more months before you come to be?  I am really trying to be patient with all of this, but geez.

I have prayed for you for months.  I have prayed for you to be here, to be healthy, and just plain alive.  The reality of the baby loss world really sucks at times, especially in the place I am in right now.  I know what can, and does, happen.  And I know it's not just a one time thing for every mom.  I worry about you already.  I am really trying to trust the Lord in all this.  And I know there are so many who are close to me praying for you also.  Some days are easier than others. 

I hope writing here will help some with all of this.  I am  getting ready to launch a new support site for moms experiencing subsequent births and raising their rainbow babies.  I have so many dreams and ideas for this site.  I really hope it takes off well.  You help give me inspiration for this, sweet baby.  Thank you!

Lovingly yours,
Mommy