Today has been a hard day. Grief found its opening and barrelled its way through. I thought I could fend it off for a little while, but the more I fought, the more I lost. And I have to say I learned today that Lucas and Caleb are never too far away. Their births and deaths will never be too long ago. For anyone who is 6 months, a year, a year and a half out, please please know this to be true. It will always be okay for you to miss your babies, for you to have days when the pain is raw and you feel frustrated with it all.
I am so very grateful for all the friends I have been blessed with. The friends who don't tell me I should get over it, it's been almost two years. The friends who encourage me to let the tears fall and who shower me with as much love and support as they did 19 months ago. They help me realize that it is okay to still feel this incredible pain. They welcome me to share it. I really don't know how different I would be if it weren't for the amazing people I am surrounded by.
Thank you, all of you!
wow, thank you so much for this post. I was meant to read it. My daughter, Lily Katherine, was stillborn at fullterm on March 16, 2010. I feel like people think I should be over it. I go along for weeks doing so well and then BAM! a huge wave of grief sweeps in and it's so raw like it just happened. I wondered if this was normal. Glad to know I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog on Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. I'm so sorry we have to walk this road.
I'd love to have you follow along on my blog as well: www.roseandherlily.blogspot.com