Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Filing Our Taxes

We filed our taxes tonight. It's one of the last things that we have to do to wrap up the year of tears. I know I've talked before how frustrated I felt that Lucas and Caleb were treated so differently by all the state and federal laws. Such as Lucas not receiving a birth certificate or SSN. How that even though he was born, he wasn't to "them". But what can you do? I know many others have had it harder.

Well, since Caleb was with us for a short (too short) time, he did receive a social security number, allowing us to claim him as a dependent this year. The first time I thought about it, I thought, "How morbid!" But when you think about it, it's something. And claiming him will help pay the hospital bills. You know the ones you have to pay to deliver a baby(ies) that didn't get to come home with you.

So we get on the website, check the "Lifestyle changes" boxes which included: have a new baby and loss of a loved one. We click okay and see this:

How nice it must be to be able to assume that just because you deliver a baby, it's a happy occasion.

I know this sounds doom and gloom. I am really doing really well, and only teared up once through the whole process tonight. That one time would be when Willy pulled out "the envelope" to get Caleb's SSN. I left the room as I have yet to glance at the contents. Next year, I will leave the room when we have to change our dependent info....maybe there will be a gift to make it a little more gentle.

Oh, and to end on a chuckle (morbid sense of humor alert)...At the end of filing they wanted us to fill out a survey with an open spot for additional comments at the bottom. My first thought was, "Thank you for celebrating my dead babies." Willy and I laughed at each other and he typed something more like how it was really easy to use and such.

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  1. It does seem unfair that you can only claim Caleb but not Lucas on the taxes. I hope that you do get money back to help with the hospital bills. I would have been so tempted to write something about the Congratulations message that came up. I was talking with my sister last night about how I can just talk about dead babies. I was saying to someone that I can get pregnant it seems (3 times in one year). I wanted to add that I just have trouble keeping the babies alive, but didn't. My sister said it was good, that someone who hasn't lost would have thought that a pretty odd comment and wouldn't have known what to say. But I always want to add that when I talk about pregnancy.....it is never, ever a given that the baby will live and come home with you.

  2. I hate the fact that the dependency exemption does not include all babies, I think it's incredibly unfair. If you fill out your tax returns manually and don't have a SSN (we do not have one for Claire but she does have a birth certificate) you actually have to write, "DIED" in place of the social security. I know the IRS and taxes aren't meant to be emotionally sensitive, but in situations like this I really wish they would be.

  3. I'm glad I read LetterstoClaire's comment, because we don't have a SSN for Bailey, and I wasn't sure how we were going to have to handle that, because we can claim her as a dependent this year.

    I'm paying someone to do our taxes this year. Between Bailey's short time with us, all the medical bills, Adam's independent contracting work he has done, and all the donations to Goodwill this year...I decided I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole.

    And the Congratulations screen just stinks. They shouldn't assume everyone who has had a baby has also had a great experience. That kinda just irks me.

    Hope you are doing well!


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