Back to "New Normal"

**This paragraph contains a trigger for some**

First I would like announce Peyton's arrival. She was born last Thursday at 9:36am weighing 6lbs, 2 oz and 20 inches long. She is a beautiful and most importantly, healthy baby girl. Miss Peyton holds a special place in my heart. Remember this post, where I cried my heart out and was filled with mixed emotions. She is the first "expecting" announcement that was really close to me after Lucas and Caleb were born. And now Peyton is here and all is right. M was a super awesome friend through her whole pregnancy with Peyton. She was always aware of how I was feeling and never wanted me to feel sad or uncomfortable. If anything, I am sure this pregnancy has brought us a little closer.

Okay, now onto other business. I am feeling really good this week. Especially when you take out the frustration that occasionally pops up during one of Colton's crying episodes. My house is looking and functioning as it was before the New Year. And I'm not a basket case anymore. A great friend posted this last week that really helped me. "The holidays compound all emotions and at times it is easy to mask them with holiday cheer.... especially when you have living kiddos to be cheerful for... then the inevitable let down of back to "normal" every day routines throws us into our new reality and it is hard to cope with. " Thank you, Jaime for your wise words. And yet I wonder, will I ever be able to not be in the midst of planning something without feeling swallowed by grief? I hope so. Then again, many of you know that I am almost always busy with planning stuff, so it may work out anyway.

Colton is doing well. We've switched him to plain Tylenol except for at night. He is eating oatmeal and marshmallows, and we are going to try Scooby Doo mac and cheese for lunch today. The boys have a new friend coming over for a few hours tonight. I think it will really break up the monotony of staying cooped up in this house. And Willy is out of town on a business trip. It's his first one in almost a year...

Which brings up something else. Last year, a week from today, I started getting ill. I found out that Friday that I was pregnant. And a few days later we went on a business trip with Willy to STL, where I spent 2 days going from the bath to the bed, trying to keep down water. I was hoping that I wouldn't remember the exact date...I have kept myself from looking at the pictures and video we took...but I still know. It's a mental tug-of-war right now. And I feel confident I will eventually lose this one. But it will not blindside me this time. That is half the battle, being prepared.

Well, gonna get to work on laundry and dusting and floors. Hope those of you with all this cold and snow are keeping warm and enjoying the view!