Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A Rut


I think I am in that grief rut. You know the one where you have a couple hard days, an easier one, then back to the pain? And I really want out. I want to back where I was just early last week. Or better yet, the beginning of December. I don't like this pain. I am hurting, and I am missing my babies. We were so close. And we lost them. Our two precious baby boys who were going to complete our family. Now I have this gaping hole in my heart. Most days I am pretty good....but as of late, there's a lot of pain.

I know I will be back on the up soon. And that I have so much to be grateful for....but I miss my babies.


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4 comments:

  1. Carrie, Thank you for your transparency as you share your heart and hurts. Praying for you.
    Laura

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  2. I know the rut all too well. I hope that you can get out of it soon. It is so hard to believe that they are gone sometimes, when we were so close....thinking of you and your boys and sending hugs.

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  3. I feel the rut too... thought it should be over since the holidays are behind me. So sorry that you have to miss Lucas and Caleb instead of having them here for the new year.

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  4. I think we can all relate to having so much to be grateful for yet so still so much grief surrounding us. I hope you know that you are not alone no matter how lonely you feel.

    The holidays compound all emotions and at times it is easy to mask them with holiday cheer.... especially when you have living kiddos to be cheerful for... then the inevitable let down of back to "normal" every day routines throws us into our new reality and it is hard to cope with.

    I hope the new year brings you comfort and peace sooner rather than later. Never to forget your babes, rather find other ways of coping and adjusting all while loving and remembering.

    xo

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