Yesterday morning, a friend, Erin, messeged me about Lost and Found's memorial balloon release and 5K walk/run. Lost and Found is an organization for children who have lost parents, siblings, grandparents, loved ones. They also help the whole family. I have thought about taking Colton, but just like MEND, I hadn't gotten around to it.
Well, most of you know I don't run unless I'm being chased. But I did want to do the balloon release. I want to do one for Lucas and Caleb's birthday, but there is a small hang-up with the environmental stuff I have read. Lost and Found uses environmentally safe balloons and we were all in. I decided to bring Colton along with me, since he has a special bond with Lucas and Caleb.
I was running late, so Danielle and her mom, Sue grabbed our balloons for us. As I opened the marker to write Lucas' name, it all hit me. This whole past year, all at once. It's really true, I have babies in Heaven. There are no words to describe what I felt. But Danielle was by my side, telling me it was okay, hand on my shoulder. I looked at Colton, took a deep breath and began to quickly write.
We joined Erin's family and the Conaways (they lost a baby boy around same gestation May 25th). As were were arriving, a balloon popped. Sue ran back to the tent to replace it. By the time she got back with it and a pen, another had poppped. She wasn't 10 feet away and we discovered Lucas' had a pin-hole in it. Really?? Thank you, Sue for all your running back and forth to make sure we had balloons to send into the sky.
Colton and I before hand. The boys only takes goofy photos. I love that I will always have pictures of his personality.
There is something calming about seeing this in person. Sue leaned over to me, put her arm around me and said, "Let some of the pain float away with these balloons."
And it did.
This face helped also. I think alot of things came together for him at this moment.
After the release was the run. Colton and I will run next year. Danielle said they will join us. It could be interesting, but I really think it would be a great way to start the final stretch to Lucas and Caleb's birthday. We then let Colton run along the edges of the fountains, and water stairs. Why I didn't take pictures, I am not sure. I really wish I had. He did great staying out of the water until the very in. He fell, scraped his leg, but is okay.
We then found some Andy's coupons, came home and took Daddy and Ethan out for frozen yogurt, for the second night in a row.
I feel pretty good this morning. I hope the worst is gone. I don't expect it to, but then if it is, I'll be pleasantly surprised. I am so grateful for all the love and support that is surrounding my family during this time. We couldn't walk this alone. Each and everyone of you help make this time easier, and more special. We love you all!!