Saturday, July 17, 2010

A Great Idea

Our hospital was really great when we lost Caleb and Lucas. They gave us a pre-made memory box for each of the boys. They each had the basics in them. Bracelets with their names, hats they wore, blankets they were wrapped in, and a journal to write in. I am sure they have a checklist with items to include and things to do for us. They even filled out a nice "recognition of birth" certificate for Lucas since he was stillborn. (another story for another day) And we have the pictures they took of our boys along with a c.d.

We even received a binder full of information. There was details about our local chapter of M.E.N.D. Information on how to tell Colton and Ethan. Pamphlet on grief and counseling if we need it. And a whole slew of other information that we just might need at some point. But the one thing that was missing is information for friends and family.

I honestly believe that friends and family need handouts also. Many don't know what to say unless they have traveled this road. And there's tons of stuff out there that can be given to them. I know those around me had the best intentions, but a few kind of went in the wrong directions. I don't really hold it against them, but it didn't help my pain or anger any. If they had a piece of paper of things NOT to say or do, it would be so helpful.

And let's throw in an article explaining why bereaved parents lash out and say and act the way they do. That it's normal to react like some insane and irrational child. Because we just lost our baby(ies) and we are raw inside. We very often don't mean to hurt anyone. We don't mean to alienate them.

So to do my part to help the family and friends of parents who have lost their babies, I am adding a tab up top with links to articles and posts that will be of assistance. I hope that they are useful. And if anyone wants me to add something, let me know and I will get it added. And for the babylost parents, check out the link below. You'll appreciate it.

P.S. I'm not angry or upset with anyone. And I don't hold it against anyone who may have said anything that hurt me or upset me. I just know that some of my friends and family had no idea what to say or what to do to help. And I really understand that. It wasn't too long ago that I didn't know how to help a friend who had lost their baby.

1 comment:

  1. So I got nervous about what I might have said, but after reading that I don't think I said any of them (at least some I KNOW I didn't) but if I did and didn't realize what I was really saying I'm really sorry for saying something stupid.

    And, I could honestly see you or Willy saying a couple of those comments or maybe it is just because you have told me what you have wanted to say to a couple of people after they said those things to you (even with "good" intentions).



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