Wednesday, July 21, 2010


As I've been reading other blogs and talking with other moms, the questions keeping haunting me.

Did Caleb ever open his eyes?

Did Caleb cry when he was born? Or at all?

I know at 24 weeks he was physically developed enough to do either one. I finally asked Willy last night if he saw Caleb open his eyes. Willy was able to spend more time with him in NICU and I was hoping he got to see our son's eyes. And he told me he doesn't remember seeing them open, but that the nurses had mentioned that Caleb had opened them.

Willy also remembers hearing him try to cry right after they removed the ventilator. Which makes me HATE that I don't remember that or that I didn't hear that. I was right there, in my bed and I didn't hear a thing. I know the only way to find out if he cried when he was born is to ask Dr. M, the doctor that delivered him. And I don't want to go back to the office until there is good news to share. So I guess I'll sit on that one for awhile.

I hate that I didn't get to see Lucas or Caleb's eyes. I hate that I didn't get to hear them cry at all! I remember thinking about hearing baby cries in stereo. And I would always laugh at the thought of it. I so wish I could have at the memory of their eyes or cries to hold onto also.

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